Best way to get kids to respond when you talk

Christina - posted on 08/24/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am a mom of 4 very strong, beautiful and stubborn little girls. My bonus child Jayda jo has definitely been my biggest challenge as of yet. If she doesn't want to do something she will (even at almost 7) throw an adult sized tantrum. We are doing family counseling and everything in between and yet i feel like i cant get through....

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Ev - posted on 08/24/2016

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What kinds of consequences have you given her for her not wanting to do anything? This is typical behavior of a child that does not get much in the way of discpline.

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Yakitta - posted on 08/29/2016

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I love how you described them and know their personalities. It definitely sounds like a very tough job for you and she's not even a teenager yet! I wonder if you could try some validation and behavior modification techniques to only focus on what she does correctly and when she does put up a fight with you, engage her in a curious manner.

Does she respond well to rewards, validating, or those types of attention from you? I also wonder if she is vying for your attention between the other three little girls. Hopefully, the family counseling will be a benefit and support you as well.

Be Strong!

Christina - posted on 08/25/2016

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Hey at least you're being honest. If i am the last thing on my mind is cuddling her as well. With school starting next week I am hoping if i reserve some extra time after she gets off the bus then she could snuggle up with me on the couch and kind of relax herself after her busy day and we can move forward from there.

Good luck mama and keep me posted!!

Christina - posted on 08/25/2016

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Jayda recieves time outs, and natural consequences. I do not give into her tantrums but being as her mom does on her visitation it makes my job harder. Shes a great kid just have to get past this rough patch!

Dove - posted on 08/24/2016

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My 8 year old son is my challenge. I haven't yet found the best way to deal w/ him... except I did recently discover that if I offer to snuggle w/ him at the first sign of upset it stops the issue from getting any worse than it would have.... NOT an easy thing to do when I am as upset w/ him as he is upset at whatever... but it does work.

This is a child that if you take everything away from him he would literally play w/ trash (or his own body parts as he displayed last night) to keep himself entertained and still avoid what it is you want him to do....

So basically... I feel your frustration. Making the task his idea, making it fun for him, and snuggling w/ him are the only 'tricks' I have discovered that will work... IF he is willing to let it work. He is a complete angel at school and for everyone else on the planet except me... so I try and just take comfort in that. lol

Jodi - posted on 08/24/2016

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I agree with Evelyn. What are the consequences for the tantrums? And what kind of attention is she getting when she throws these tantrums. It isn't normal for a child this age to be throwing tantrums like this.

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