Better to Encourage then Discourage: Circle of Moms Already Rude?

Ane - posted on 10/09/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I just started Circle of moms less then 30 minutes ago and I got my first reply. In my opinion It was not very helpful and she seemed kind of moody like who cares in such ways. I was raised as if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. I'm looking for encouragement and helpful point of views please don't ruin my circle of moms experience.

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Sometimes people seem rude but really they are trying to help by giving you simple options, or by being no-nonense about the advice they are giving. For some of us here the answer may seem very simple so we may give our advice in a very blunt manner. Another reason we may seem is rude is because we are not emotionally involved in your problem and we are a matter of fact about how we approach it. It's important that when using a forum to not take things personally and to maybe re-read your replies several times to make sure you are understanding what you are being told. The vast majority of us here do not mean to be rude, we are just communicating our thoughts to you using a medium that doesn't allow us to make clear what our emotions at the time of writing. I hope you will continue to use this community because if you give us a chance you will find a very caring and helpful group of Mums.

Jodi - posted on 10/09/2012

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How was I rude? I can't tell you "for sure" if you are pregnant? I just asked why not kick the smoking habit anyway. Sensitive much? You cannot read tone into a written post on a WORLDWIDE website (where we are all from different parts of the world in different cultures, and semantics are different), so don't try. Instead, just be a little less sensitive.

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Ane - posted on 10/09/2012

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Thank you ladies

I am very appreciative all your comments and helpful words of encouragement. I will hopefully adapt to all the moms and learn from my circle of mom journey.

Lacye - posted on 10/09/2012

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Here at CoM, there are women from all over the world that can see your posts. And yes there are going to be a lot of ones that are going to be rude because, let's get real here, not everybody has the same opinion and not everybody is going to be very nice about certain subjects. As a matter of fact, don't be surprised when a total stranger tells you that you are a terrible mom and you should have your kids taken away (been there, done that).



I've been on this site for a very long time (about 3 years if you count my other account I erased), and I have seen Jodi around here. In all honesty, she's blunt, not rude. She is one of the ones that will tell you like she sees it and it might come off bitchy, but it's not. A lot of the women are like that, myself included. You are not going to like what every woman on here is going to say,but then again, they are not going to like what you have to say most of the time either.



I didn't read your first post, but it's about smoking and pregnancy from what I've gathered. So here we go.



Yes I am 23 weeks pregnant and yes I smoke. It's hard to quit but I have managed to slow down on my smoking to only a few a day. I can't fully stop. I tried that at the beginning of my pregnancy, went one week without it, and then caught a whiff of smoke and I was smoking again (more than a pack a day which was more than what I was smoking to begin with!). If you can't completely stop, then at least try to slow down. Yes it would be better if every pregnant woman stopped smoking but this is not a perfect world.

Ane - posted on 10/09/2012

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And you can read tones that's why they have Smiley faces :) or Frowns :( or confused o_O you dnt know me and I don't know you so therefore its not being sensitive it's simply being aware.

Ane - posted on 10/09/2012

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The way you said why not just quit, like It is supposed to be so easy. I smoke alot because I have bad anxiety and it seems to be the only thing that helps. I'm not a pill person and don't plan on it so I don't take them for anxiety. I just felt like you were being smart about it. Now that I read your next post I feel better now. Now I know you didn't mean any harm. Thank you for your help Jodi.

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