Beyond Stressed!

Niki - posted on 06/28/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I need help! I am a 34 year old mother of 2 girls 9&7 and boy 2. My husband farms for someone and we have a farm ourselves. Hes gone all the time. Im left to take care of kids, house, animals, all the bills, shopping, mowing, absolutely everything. When hes here, hes not really helping. Just resting. I am at my witts end. My girls wont help me without hounding them constantly. I never get a break. I have no family to watch my kids. I have never been away from my 2 yr old once. Im past my breaking point and cry constantly over all the stress thats on me. I dont know what to do. My son is so much work I cant enjoy going anywhere. My girls are constantly at each others throats. What can I do to relieve stress? have absolutely no idea in my situation.

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Niki - posted on 07/03/2013

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Well, he's not here much because we're not a full functioning farm at the moment. We basically have "pets", but alot of them. It used to be, but years ago he sold off the livestock. We are currently trying to get fence up, barns fixed back up, our house remodeled and things like that. So all of our income comes from him working for this farmer. But he's gone all the time. Literally maybe an hour or two a day we see him.
As for the kids, I've tried everything imaginable. We've done chore lists, rewards, allowances and nothing works. It literally took me from 9am til 5pm to clean 2 rooms, 3 loads of laundry, and feeding them 2 meals. My son isn't at a stage to help at all. He's very stubborn and wants to spend all day outside. That's good, but I can't get anything done inside. Yesterday we spent almost all day in town running errands. I took them to eat and play at the park afterwards. I asked them in exchange to help me get the house clean and get their room cleaned. They helped ever so slightly and their room is utterly trashed. I scrubbed the bathroom 2 days ago top to bottom. Walls, sink, vanity, shower, floors, everything. Today there's clothes everywhere, toys, dirt. I just get so tired of yelling at them. They just don't take any incentive to help me unless I yell, and at that it's not much. I don't know what else to do with them. Even our chickens, it's our oldest job. They went for a whole day in 100 degree weather with no water, feed and the rabbit the same. Didn't phase her a bit. I have to keep on them at all times for them to complete smallest tasks. My husband and I weren't that way , I don't know why they are.
To top it off my husband is running wheat so he won't even get the 4th off. His boss is really gonna kill us both.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/28/2013

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Sounds like you and hubby need to set things straight. Why is he working another farm, if you have a farm of your own? Why is he not contributing to the chores that are required to keep your own farm running?

As far as the girls, they also need a sit down to understand that they are part of a farming/ranching family, and that means EVERYONE DOES THEIR SHARE. Even your 2 yo can do simple chores.

Make a list of everything that needs to be done in a day. Designate chores to each daughter, separate chores so that they can't argue over things.

Everyone needs to be on the same page here, and that page is helping with the family farm. Good luck!

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