Bf's daughter doesn't want to live in foster care?

Stevie - posted on 10/17/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm not exactly a mom, but I recently moved in with my newly divorced boyfriend. He's the father of three and has custody of his son and 11 yr old daughter, Sam. Sam is currently recieving treatment for her mental illness and trauma from sexual abuse. She has a habit of telling the staff at the inpatient facility that all her mom and dad do is fight and yell, (which is no longer the case) and telling them that she hates both parents and wants to live in foster care. However, when she's at home she's laughing and having a great time. Her dad and I have really made an effort to spend quality time with her and her brother and making her home visits very positive! She even told me that she had "the best time ever" with us on her last visit and her mom told us that she had fun when they spent time together as well. It's been hard on her dad to her that his little princess doesn't want to be with him anymore but even more confused that she doesn't want to be with her mother either. This has been very frustrating! Any tips on how we can actually figure out what's going on and get her to reconsider her ideas about foster care?? Thank you!

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User - posted on 10/17/2012

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Hi my name is Jasmine, I'm 19 years old and I was in foster care my self. It was a week before I turned 11 going in there and I didn't get out till I was 17 and that's only because I ran away. But that's not the point here. When you go into foster care you don't know what the foster parents are going to be like the rules their culture there beliefs. They could be a lot more worse then what she may believe you guys are. I myself use to wish I was on foster care before I went in. I use to pray to god and ask him to take me and my brothers there. It was the worst thing ever when I went in. The first family I lived with were really mean. The lady was nice but the guy was very disrespectful and rude and I went through a lot. They would monitor my phone calls with my friends. They wouldn't let me wear certain colors and as I got older the more the rules came. They tell you that your not there kids your just foster kids la la la. Your after will miss yous dearly and by the tI'm ahead realizes she wants to come home the state will make some excuse for her not to. She belongs with yous her family. I hope that helps

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