bi polar hubby?

Candice - posted on 01/05/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

381

37

30

im just wondering if anyone else has a bi-polar spouse and if you have found good ways to handle the mood swings .

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Bek - posted on 01/06/2011

39

15

5

There are some good books out there on bi-polar issues. "Walking on Eggshells" and "Co-dependent no More" are some helpful books. Reading up and understanding the illness as best as possible helps because then you have a working knowledge of what is going on.



Is there not a therapist near by that he can work with? Working with a physc in video conference is ok, but face to face is better if at all possible. I understand in some places there is not a local professional you can work with, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is a good resource for materials and support and may be able to help you find spouse support and possibly a local physc or therapist. There is also a Bi-Polar workbook that he might find helpful.

Good luck, I know it's hard.

Karen - posted on 01/06/2011

1,577

26

374

my husband is bi-polar and i can usually tell when he's got a "blow out" coming on. i tend to try to get him to talk to me alot when i notice it happening...i find he lets a lot of little things bother him until he can't handle it anymore, so if i can get him talking and venting then the really bad mood swings can usually be avoided. another thing that he has found to really help is to have time alone when he feels like it's going to happen. he finds reading really relaxing so if he feel like a mood swing is coming on he'll go read (sometimes in the bedroom with the door closed, or sometimes he'll go sit in the car to have silence) if he can have a good hour to get relaxed again it's usually all good. he doesn't see a psych all the time but these are tips that we were given and have really worked for us. he only has "refresher" once a year or so (more often if he feels these are starting to not work). gl

Renae - posted on 01/06/2011

2,209

23

156

All you can do is carry on your life as normal. Dont try to walk on egg shells or go out of your way to stay out of his way... just continue on as normal. Often, trying to avoid an uproar actually backfires. Dont take the responsibility on yourself for his behaviour. What does his psych have to say? Usually you would be encouraged to get some spouse support counselling yourself and this is exactly the sort of thing they should be helping you with.

Kate CP - posted on 01/05/2011

8,942

36

758

I wish I could give more advice...the way my husband "deals" with my swings is to just stay out of my way and honestly that has a tendency to piss me off for some reason. I know how hard it is to deal with me when I'm all over the place...it's hard for me to deal with myself when I'm like that. I guess encourage him to spend some extra time doing something just for him. That seems to help me out when I'm going loopy.

Kate CP - posted on 01/05/2011

8,942

36

758

I'm bipolar myself and I'm medicated. He needs to see a psychologist for therapy, coping mechanisms, and possibly medication.

9 Comments

View replies by

Iridescent - posted on 01/06/2011

4,519

272

1080

I'm bipolar, and wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. I was pretty heavily medicated to start and honestly couldn't even walk because the meds were wiping me out! I went into therapy for many years. I learned some GOOD coping mechanisms for the first time in my life, and it took years to learn to use them when I need them. My husband was not always there for me, and we broke up for a few years. We are together now and things are much better. I've come completely off the medications for over 4 years now, after 5 years of medications and 8 of therapy. I have good days and bad days. I am obviously still bipolar. But I'm ok overall, coping. And bad days, my husband avoids me, too. Or he does something really sweet that is unexpected, and it helps me a lot to know he's there and cares. He allows me to get as much sleep as I need (or, barring that, as much sleep as time allows) because it makes the overall symptoms less. And he's learned to take my moods less personally, because it's not about him at all.

[deleted account]

i don't but my mother is bipolar. meds and therapy work best. she meets with a psychiatrist and also tries not to do too much at one time. it doesn't completely eliminate them but it's alot better

Candice - posted on 01/06/2011

381

37

30

we are having issues with his psych lately because the hubby sees him over video conference ... so also i havent ever met him. hmm maybe i will look into spouse support councelling :) thanks!

Candice - posted on 01/05/2011

381

37

30

hes already doing so and on medication, but still gets the mood swings....

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms