bio dad unfit keeping him away from baby

Charlene - posted on 03/17/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Bio dad all of a sudden wants rights to baby, he left when I was 3 months pregnant, now wants a paternity test and rights, he doesnt even know her birth date. He is a drunk and drug addict also live in filth..help

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/18/2015

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If you have proof of your allegations, give it to your attorney.
He has the right to request a paternity test, and his parental rights. HE'S A PARENT. Just as you are. How would you feel if the situation were reversed, if he had complete hold over your child and was denying you access?
Judgment has nothing to do with this (other than the biased judgment on your part). You slept with a man. A child was created that is 50% YOU and 50% HIM. You don't have the right to decide when/if the other parent of the child gets access. If you don't wish to take care of the legal side, he'll be able to petition for custody, and will have a good chance of getting your child removed from your primary care and into his. All he has to do is show a judge this post claiming that you will keep him away. Its called Parental Alienation.
Do you really want things to turn out that way?
Or would you rather be an adult, accept that you may have made a choice then that you disagree with now, get an attorney, and handle this by getting paternity established, custody established, support set, and visitation looked into?
After all, your choice now will affect every interaction from here on out.

Sarah - posted on 03/17/2015

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You can bring all of his negative traits in court. Bottom line, you conceived a baby with this man. He is her father whether you like it or not. Get a DNA test done, apply for child support and supervised visitation to start. You can't cut a father out of his child's life just because you don't like his lifestyle or choices. That is up to a judge.

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Jodi - posted on 03/18/2015

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Most of us have walked a mile in your shoes. You can get all huffy and upset if you like, but it really won't change the facts. Fact, even if the father wanted nothing to do with the child to start with and has now decided otherwise, unless he signed away his rights, he has legal rights UNLESS you can prove he will be a danger to the child. It is about facts and evidence. You can't stand there and tell a judge to walk a mile in your shoes before judging you! That isn't evidence or fact. You need something more solid than that if you believe your child's father shouldn't have any contact with him.

I will say, however, even if he is a drunk and an alcoholic, he is likely to get some form of visitation, so you may be best to push for supervised visitation. But you will need the evidence.

Michelle - posted on 03/18/2015

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Most of us have had to deal with problems in relationship breakdowns/Dad's not being around. We have just given you advice on what you need to do and what could happen if you stop him from having a relationship with his child.
Make sure you have proof and take that to your lawyer.

Charlene - posted on 03/18/2015

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I am going to court I tried to have him part f her life he chose not to, then all f a sudden he changed his mind, lie I saidvwalk a mile in my shoes. Whatever

Jodi - posted on 03/18/2015

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Charlene, noone actually passed judgement about you keeping the father away from the baby, they stated fact. You actually can't legally do it, and if you do decide to, without evidence that he is a danger to the child (hard, factual evidence, not your say so), you do actually risk losing custody based on parental alienation. As others have said, you need to go to court before a judge WITH evidence that he is a danger to the child.

Charlene - posted on 03/18/2015

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Ya I get this but im not gonna have open arms to a man who cant stay sober long enough to know his own daughters birthdate, also he blocked me and his baby out of his life when I was 3 months pregnant, I appreciate the comments but walk a mile in my shoes before u pass judgment about me keeping him away from my baby..

Michelle - posted on 03/17/2015

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Like Sarah said, he is her Father and it's not up to you to decide if he's fit or not. Get yourself a lawyer and bring up these things in court. He may get supervised visits.

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