Bio dad wants back in the picture...

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

So, my son's bio dad has been out of the picture since he was 1 1/2, due to going to prison for 2 years. During this time, i started dating my husband. We got married in 2014, the same year my son's bio dad was released from prison. Part of his parole was that he couldn't contact me, but legally he still could've gone thru the courts for visitation. Anywho, in April 2016 my husband legally adopted our son, who is now 7. Ironically, in June 2016 my ex was let off parole, and sent me a message about possibly becoming a part of my son's life. My son knows he was adopted and about his birth dad, but changes his mind on what he wants when I bring up giving his birth dad updates on how he is doing etc. Obviously my husband is against it. He feels he had the chance to fight and didnt, which i totally understand. I am just wondering since my son is so back n forth on what he wants, if any other mothers out there have delt with this , and how they handled it. I am tore on what to do. I want to obviously honor my husband's wishes, but more importantly give my son a chance to do what he wants, wether it be talk to his bio dad or see him etc. Any advice helps! Thanks!

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[deleted account]

We do have court paperwork. He is no longer on the birth certificate my husband is. He has no legal rights to my son whatsoever. And my son changes his mind alot about it, thays why I'm not sure what to do other than put it on hold for a bit until he can decide for sure what he wants to do

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/18/2016

13,209

21

2014

Well, unless you have court paperwork stripping him entirely of his parental rights, you will need to address this, and probably in court.

What does your son want? Does he want to know his biological father? If so, there is your answer.

[deleted account]

His biological dad had a chance to fight the adoption and chose not to because he didn't want to "interrupt" our family as he put it. But still wants to have a relationship..why not fight for your kid then? Because he wanted the easy way out of not having to pay child support or have a warrant for backed child support but thought Wed still allow him to be a parent. My son doesn't even know who he is as a person because of choices he made. Not my son.

[deleted account]

Because he had not paid child support in the 7 years he was alive, and had not made any attempts to have a relationship with him since he was 1 1/2. I love in Michigan and here there are stepparent adoptions. The biological parent has to upstand so many things and if they dont, after being married for so long a stepparent can file a motion for adoption.
And yes it's his biological father, but he also was very mean verbally and somewhat abusive to him when he was a baby. He was also mentally, verbally and physically abusive to me and caused us many trips to the hospital. He has 4 kids with 4 moms and only sees 2 if the 4. My husband has provided and been there for my son since he was 2 when his biological father couldn't and didnt want to be there for him.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/18/2016

13,209

21

2014

How did your husband legally adopt someone else's child?

If the child's father signed away his rights and allowed the adoption, then you don't really have to allow the contact, but seriously, this is the child's FATHER. Not his step/adopted father, but his biological father, and the child, if no one else, deserves the right to the relationship.

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