Bio Mom has turned Step Daughter against the whole Bio Dad's Family

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

I'm not sure where to begin on this but I can say its a terrible situation that I wish had a solution. Let's start by saying the Bio Mom hated me from the beginning just because I'm with her ex husband whom she might I add divorced 2 times for no reason accept she has mental issues. I have never spoken to her face to face due to she would never allow it. Bio Mom & Dad have 3 children a son 24 a son 22 & a 16 year old daughter. I have 1 son 20 & 1 daughter 16. The oldest step son is married with one baby 1 & another on the way. Let's start by saying the Bio Mom has always had complete control of all of her children's moves until the oldest boys moved out. My 16 year old step daughter is under complete control by Bio Mom. My husband has not seen his daughter since April of 2014 due to the fact the Mother has alienated her against the Bio Dad's side of the family. Its my belief that the Bio Mom has a narcissitic personality and the GUC Complex and its her way or not way always and never apologies. Four days after her first grandbaby was born out of jealousy towards myself and ex hubby Bio Mom tried to physically attack the daughter in law while the grandbaby lay next to her. My step son had to restrain his Mother while she screamed profanities at everyone. My step son has stop all contact with Mom due to the fact she refuses to admit she was wrong and he states that his daughter won't be raised around such a controlling environment. Now all of this has built up due to the fact her ex hubby my new hubby has moved on and was engaged to get married. Bio Mom tried several times to get him back over the course of the engagement as well. Getting back to Step Daughter she hasn't seen her new niece since that day or the rest of Dad's family (heartbreaking). Of course Bio Mom says its her daughter's choice but I believe its a case of Parental Alienation of its worst kind. My heart breaks for my husband cause he's hurting by not seeing his daughter and I believe the Bio Mom is doing this to punish my husband cause she doesn't see her grandbaby. This is just a small portion of the whole situation that I'm in with a blended family but believe me I love my husband dearly or I would run for the hills to escape this unstable Bio Mom. Any suggestion???

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[deleted account]

Thank you Raye for your responses its nice to speak to an outsider for sure. I don't understand why the Mom doesn't understand he can't be responsible for her mortgage that baffles me. I hope that there is a change soon cause I've personally never had someone hate me like this for no reason. I actually have a relationship with my ex mother in law so I'd say that says some things about myself but no one on my husband's side of the family wants anything to do with her. I'm a firm believer that keeping kids out of adult issues is a must and doing anything other than that is abuse....

Raye - posted on 03/11/2015

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He should definitely get his name off the mortgage. If she decides to stop paying for the house, he's still on the hook to pay and it would ruin his credit. If she can't afford the house with her income and his support payments, then that's her fault, not his, and they can find somewhere else to live. I also agree he should not give money above his child support payments, except for birthday and Christmas presents, if she refuses to allow visitation. You're right, he's not an ATM.

It's sad when parents use their children as pawns to hurt the other parent. It usually doesn't make them feel any better, and it hurts the child, too. I'm sorry that your family has to go through that.

[deleted account]

Yes there is and we've been to court but since she's 16 the judge says its her decision but actually its not because Momma has complete control. Bio Mom is very selfish and is set out to hurt my husband and its actually working cause he's cried for his daughter. The Mom has even gone as far as to block all of our phones from his daughters cell phone. Before all of this he never missed a weekend visit or Wednesday evening visit and never been behind on support. However she doesn't have a problem asking him to mail money for things LOL... He refuses to give anything extra until he gets time with his daughter right or wrong he's not an ATM. His daughter has actually messaged him saying he's no longer needed I have my Momma. The other issue is Bio Mom still hasn't refinanced the marital home she was given and his name is still on the mortgage from 4 years ago so of course she tells their daughter Dad is kicking us out on the street. Anyone knows that when you get a divorce you have to separate your assets and remove each other from your debts that's why its a divorce...Horrible Mother's put their children in the middle and make them choose sides that's beyond their control... Thanks for responding and listening!

Raye - posted on 03/11/2015

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If there is a custody/visitation agreement in place by the court, and bio-mom is not letting her daughter see her father, then he needs to take her to court. If there is no such visitation agreement in place, maybe he needs to go to court and have one established. The daughter is old enough that the judge will consider her wishes, and if she's truly brainwashed my her mom, then she may decide not to have visitation. All you can do is try, though.

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