Melanie - posted on 01/16/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )
Yellow Rose, I read your post and know exactly what you are feeling. My husband and I met 16 years ago and have been married thirteen years. I have been a mother figure to the two children that came with him since they were 3 and 5. Both are now adults. Recently one enlisted in the military and I finally let out all the feelings I have had for years, only to have a birth mother step all over me. I have never tried to replace her or step on her but she has resented me for a long time and pulled a lot of crap over the years. She should be grateful that I have loved and cared for these children as if I myself had given birth.
Her newest incident was a nasty gram attempting to put me in place. She has no idea what I have given to these children over the past 16 years, love, encouragement, nursing them while they were sick,listening to them when they needed to cry, etc. She's tried to make it sound as though she was the only one who has had influence in their lives and the people they have both turned out to be. I wholeheartedly disagree with her of course because the children were with their father and I as well as her.
Whether you are the birth mother or the other mother both of you should have the right to call the child your son or daughter. I am not the mean, ugly step mother from Cinderella and I know my children don't look at me that way or feel that way. Just wanted you to know that you are not the only one with a birth mother that can't past herself and her own insecurities.