Biological Father tell my child?

Lucy - posted on 08/20/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

4

0

0

My child is 8, I have been on my own since conception. Literally. The biological father disappeared. He's not listed anywhere because of this. I'm now married, my child thinks of my husband as her Dad.

I have no idea if or when I should talk to my daughter about this. She literally has no idea. The biological father has never appeared, he doesn't even know if I had a boy or a girl. I mean literally gone since conception.

We aren't planning on having any other children. I read some posts about people with a similar issue, and them having other children that wouldn't have this problem. Wanting them to feel equal. The other posts I read, all of them said the biological father was involved at some point, or multiple points when the child was young.

I have nothing, my child has never had any contact with him? I would appreciate any responses. Would also appreciate not being looked down on. This happened during the lowest point of my life. I went though it alone, and I guess deep down I'm not over that.

Thanks for your thoughts.

4 Comments

View replies by

Lucy - posted on 08/21/2013

4

0

0

That's a good idea. I have no idea how to start the conversation, I feel like it would be so foreign to her.

Amy - posted on 08/21/2013

6,467

33

2386

She's never going to find out? You don't know that....someone could say something to her, something could happen and it comes out. You can not say with any certainty that she will never know, and if I found out that something like that had been kept from me I would cut ties with everyone involved.

You need to explain that who she knows as dad is not her biological father but will always be her dad since he's the one that has helped raise her emotionally and financially. If you aren't sure how to have the conversation maybe you should speak to a child psychologist first who can guide you through the conversation.

Lucy - posted on 08/20/2013

4

0

0

But why? It isn't like she met him ever, or knows he exists, he is certainly never going to show up. I have tried tracking him down. I guess my question is how is telling her in the best interest of the child?

Not to mention she has no idea what sex is? So how is she supposed to understand that this person is her father? I mean to a child father doesn't mean the person who made you, it means the person who's there taking care of you.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms