Biomom is Pregnant, so now should I wait?

Lauren - posted on 03/02/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




My husband and I have been living together for 4 years and finally got married last year. Since announcing our engagement, biomom has been in a race to catch-up. So much so, she got engaged a month before our wedding date, got married just 4 months after we married (a 5 month engagement) and now, we found out from my Step-son, that biomom is pregnant. So within 8 months my step-son has experienced a lot of rapid change! I am concerned about how all these changes are affecting my step-son and feel like my husband and I need to provide some stability to counteract the very quick huge life changing events that are happening with biomom. One problem with the "stability plan," is my husband and I have been discussing with our Step-son for about 6 months (so prior to biomom's marriage or pregnancy announcements) how we'd like to try to get pregnant. My step-son is 9 and so he has been an only child for 9 years. I don't want to overwhelm him with 2 new babies in one year's time, but I also don't know how I feel about postponing our well thought-out plans because of biomom. I'm obviously feeling very conflicted. Please help.


Ev - posted on 03/02/2015




I agree with Raye on this one. You need to do what you can to keep the conversations open, include him in on what is going on with the baby you guys are having when you do so, and tell him you love him. What bio mom does in her life is going to affect the boy and if he has you and dad to be there for him, that is going to help. You just can not control what people are going to do. This woman has a big problem and is more worried about attention or something else and she is not concentrating on things that need her focus.

Raye - posted on 03/02/2015




What she's doing in her life should not make much difference in your lives. It's good that you're concerned for your son, but you have had these plans and have been discussing them with him, so he should not be surprised by your plans. Keep an open dialogue with your son, and make sure that he knows he will still beloved after the baby is born.


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