birth certificate

Rosy - posted on 02/19/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have my sons father name on his birth certificate and on his passport. Fathers name is not on the birth certificate so can I change his surname to mine with out his consent. OR
can I have both surname his and mine - Our relationship is rocky on and off and I plan to go away with my son and my family but my partner refusing for us to go.

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Raye - posted on 02/19/2016

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Your post is confusing. So, you gave your son his father's last name? But where you're supposed to put who the father is on the BC, you didn't?

If you're in the USA, you need a judge to approve the name change. You can't just change it for no reason. If the father contests the change, then most likely you won't be able to change it. Depending on where you live, you may still need the father's permission to take the child away where it would be a hardship for the father to visit his child. The father could take you to court and fight for custody and win.

You should speak to a lawyer to find out the laws where you live, and if your plans are legal. Whether or not you're happy with the baby's father is generally not a legal consideration in whether you are required to co-parent with him.

The proper time to think about whether you wanted a child to tie you to this man forever would have been before you had sex with him... Now you should be thinking about what is in the best interests of your child, and whether your son would want to have a relationship with his father. YOU certainly don't have to be in a romantic relationship with him. But he IS the baby's father, and he only has to go to court, take a simple DNA test, and get awarded rights to his child.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/20/2016

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That's always best, Rosy and good luck!

Rosy - posted on 02/19/2016

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Thanks everyone!!!! I think I know what I will have to do and that is to get legal advise.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/19/2016

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If you are in the US, the answer is NO. You cannot make that determination on your own.

If you want to change the child's surname, it is a legal process, requiring petitioning the courts, advertising the petition, waiting for responses to the petition, and then judicial review and decision.

Sarah - posted on 02/19/2016

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OK I still don't get it: did you give your child the surname of the father but not list him as the father or the other way around? Ultimately, if you were certain of the paternity you should have listed the father on the BC, you could have given the child your surname if you desired too. Not having the accurate name on a BC is only problematic in the long run; it does not keep a man from seeking visitation. You committed fraud if you put "unknown" on the BC. Get his papers in order; mother, father etc. When he is older he can change his name.
I also caught that last sentence: " I plan to go away with my son and my family but my partner refusing for us to go." It does not matter what your child's name is, you cannot take him out of the country without the consent of his father. If you do it in a sneaky matter, you can be accused of kidnapping and fraud.
Consult a lawyer and do it the right way

Dove - posted on 02/19/2016

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You need a lawyer and you need to pursue all of this through court. This man will be your son's father for the rest of his life... regardless of anything else... and he has rights unless a judge takes them away from him.

Raye - posted on 02/19/2016

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The advice is... speak to a lawyer. The father can still have rights if he takes you to court over it. Abuse to the mother does not indicate he would abuse his child.

Rosy - posted on 02/19/2016

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Hi re reading my post I can see how confusing it is. I am from London, If I was honest I would not have put my sons fathers name on the B.C I was not force to but was told to. he did not realize himself that his name was not on the B.C either just wanted to see his sons full name on it. Our relationship is rocky, and when I mean rocky police are called in by neighbors and my poor 2 year old shuts himself in his room. its pure abuse words and throwing things around. When my partners good boy his a totally different person.
I just want advise.

many thanks

Dove - posted on 02/19/2016

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Raye is right that your post is confusing. In the US you need a judge to approve a name change... and you need either the court's or father's (or both) permission to take the child out of the country. No matter where you live... this is a topic of discussion for a lawyer in your area that will have better information about the laws and your particular situation.

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