Birth certificate

Brittany - posted on 04/29/2016 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Can i get full custody of my daughter if her fathers not on the birth certificate? He was not around during my pregnancy and wasnt there for her birth so i just didnt put him on the birth certificate so does he have any rights to her is there any way i can stop him from trying to get right??

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ANITRA - posted on 04/30/2016

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Brittany, my daughter had this same problem and we went to the courthouse and was told that if the father does not have the child legitimized then he has not rights to the child and can not take the child. I live in the state of Georgia and I don't know where you live but you may want to check into that. Good luck with everything.

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2016

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"I was pushed into joint custody and got 20.00 a month in child support and he gets every weekend. It was been a nightmare on many levels, so NO NO NO Please get full custody and give him visitation and he will pay child support. :)"

You said this....so yes, you did indicate to go for full custody on the basis of child support. I'm not sure how else this should be interpreted. Perhaps a better explanation is needed. Because I'm pretty sure you are indicating here that you would have got more child support if you had full custody.

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2016

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I get that the child support will be ordered (after all, I've probably been doing this whole co-parenting thing longer than you), but the entire fight for custody shouldn't be about the money. You don't make a decision about going for full or joint custody on how much money you will get. Period. And that is what you suggested.

The fact is, custody/visitation are separate to child support and one shouldn't actually even be dependent upon the other. Besides the fact there is a distinction between physical and legal custody.

Bottom line is, this mother should talk to a lawyer and get it sorted out, but she has no right to leave the father's name off the birth certificate, because (1) if you know who the father is, that is fraudulent and (2) the father has rights and just having the shits with him doesn't make him any less the biological parent. Ultimately, THAT was her question - whether he has rights. And he does. He's the father. You don't get to have sex with someone, get pregnant and then deny the other person rights. If he was good enough to have sex with, you don't get to decide if he's good enough to be on the birth certificate.

Sarah - posted on 04/30/2016

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Bottom line about the BC, if you knew he was the father and deliberately left him off the BC for whatever reason; you committed fraud. Fix it.

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2016

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But custody shouldn't be battled PURELY on the basis of the money he pays - actually, it shouldn't even be a consideration on the decision. Period. I never said he wasn't responsible to help, but it shouldn't be the basis of a custody decision. This just means you are treating your child like they are for rent, and that's just not right.

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Sarah - posted on 04/30/2016

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@ Heather ClimerWright
Not only is falsifying a legal document fraud, but by not naming the father; if he were to become disabled or die, her child would not be entitled to benefits. It doesn't matter if he NEVER cam around nor visits the kid; she picked him to make a baby and that makes him the father and should be documented on the BC. If she knew he was the dad, as he was the only partner or whatever; he should be named on the BC. This is simple legal logistics.It doesn't give him any rights to parent, or force him to pay support. That would be up to a judge.

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2016

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I am targeting my comments more at the OP than at you. She has asked "is there any way i can stop him from trying to get right".

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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My sons dad sees him whenever he wants, i have never told him he can't see him. i do believe his dad and his dads family a extremely important part in not just my kids life but every kids live. We as parents have to feed, cloth etc... take care of them and that shouldn't be solely on mom to make sure that happens. It takes both.

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2016

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Heather, I do understand. My ex paid $30 a month for many, many years. Nothing else, just the $30 (even during the teenage years when your kid costs more; and I am in Australia, so the $30 probably means a different thing). But that doesn't give me more rights than him. I guess that's the point I'm trying to make allow the kid to have a relationship with his dad. Stop focusing on whose rights are whose and start focusing on the kid's rights to a relationship with both parents.

And in the end, the kid deserves to have the identification of both parents on the birth certificate too.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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I see how you took that wrong, I should have went into more details. He pays the 20.00 due to court order, however, It does take more to take care of a child that goes beyond that amount. He doesn't feel like should pay half of doctor visits, sports, clothes, school functions or anything else because he pays 20.00 a month, plus he goes months without seeing his son. We don't even spend his 20.00 month, because we are saving it for my son. If i had to do all over again i would have let the judge do what he wanted to do to start with. I agree that every child needs both parents. I just pray he is going to be a better father to his kid then my sons father has been to his.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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I never said anything about getting or gaining more money. I have five boys and I never asked her to take all of the money she can get out of him, I just said that the Judge will give her custody and the Judge will ask if he has taken a DNA test, because my sons father was on it and was still asked for the proof of it. No law has been broken here. They will give the father his rights and make him pay child support, that is just how the law works.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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FRAUD??? NO! He was not at the hospital nor has he taking a DNA test! NO case.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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Be it right or wrong if they go to court the Judge will look at both parents income and expenses and he will make whomever has visitation pay child support. That is they way the justice system works. My sons dad only pays 20.00 a month and i never even though everyone said to take him make to court to get more, I have not and i don't want his money, He helps out with other expenses when needed. It doesn't sound like this couple is on any good terms and they need the justice system to work it out for them, so the child doesn't suffer anymore then need be.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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The money is him helping taking care of his baby, so yes it is he responsibly to help.

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2016

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It shouldn't be about the money.....ever. Anyone who fights custody issues on the basis of money should be ashamed of themselves.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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I do not know how old your daughter is, however, I was pushed into joint custody and got 20.00 a month in child support and he gets every weekend. It was been a nightmare on many levels, so NO NO NO Please get full custody and give him visitation and he will pay child support. :)

Dove - posted on 04/30/2016

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All he has to do is petition the court and he'll get rights. Why not go to court first and have that extra piece of mind... and protection for your daughter? Court orders are best for everyone involved... especially the child.

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2016

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I guess it's just the way you say he isn't on the birth certificate and then questioning his rights. He has rights. You should speak to a lawyer and get custody and visitation sorted out legally. This doesn't mean you need to have full custody - you may have joint legal custody with you having primary physical custody and him having visitation. But honestly, the way you worded your post made it sound like you didn't want him having ANY rights, and that just isn't fair.

For the record, noone judged you - they reacted to you asking for advice on how you can stop your daughters father having ANY rights.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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Your very welcome. Your family is in my prayers. This will all work out for the best :)

Brittany - posted on 04/30/2016

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Thank you Heather and i appreciate that you didn't judge me before you new what my story was. This was really helpful

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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In order to make sure you get full custody go to court and they will get him visitation and all plus it will give you all some peace about all of this.

Brittany - posted on 04/30/2016

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Im sorry probably should have said this differently but i do not keep her from him at all she sees him when ever he feels like picking her up but everytime he has her he ask for me to work things out with him or hes not going to bring her backand it scares me my daughter has epilepsy she needs medication every day i just care for her i only wanted to know so that if he does try to keep her i have something to get her back thats all i was never trying to keep her from him i love my daughter and his family shows her nothing but love id never take that away

Jodi - posted on 04/30/2016

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That still doesn't preclude the FACT that he is the father and that the child has a right to get to know him and you can't stop him trying to exercise his rights. Sorry, but mothers need to stop thinking they own their children.

Heather - posted on 04/30/2016

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The only way he can get rights is if can prove by a DNA test he is the father and take you to court.

Michelle - posted on 04/30/2016

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I agree with everything Jodi said.
Your daughter has the right to know her Father and you DON'T have the right to deny that.

Jodi - posted on 04/29/2016

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Wow. Why would you want to cut the father out of the child's life? Your child has a right to get to know her dad. So he wasn't there during your pregnancy. Big deal. He's not required to be - he can still be a good dad. Not there at the birth? That's a choice he is allowed to make. I hope you aren't preventing him from visiting her as well.

Basically, the actual answers to your questions depend on where you live, but he can peition to do a DNA test and still have rights, even if he isn't on the birth certificate. If you know who the father is, you should be including it on the birth certificate - you child at least has the right to that and so does he.

There is absolutely no way you can stop him exercising his rights - at any time he has the right to get the court to change the birth certificate to include his name and to grant him joint or shared custody as well as visitation.

I will never understand why mothers think they own their children just because they gave birth to them. Kids have two parents and you don't have to like it. But if you had sex, and you became pregnant, then you need to grow up and accept that there are two parents and all parties involved, including the child, have rights to a relationship.

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