MOST HELPFUL POSTS
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 07/21/2015
You say you are not on assistance, but if he's being docked for support, at some point, you filled out paperwork and listed him as the father of the child.
What you need to do now is get an attorney, schedule the test, and have your attorney file for primary residential and legal custody, as well as the support.
Yes, he does have every right to have a relationship with the child, and she's got the right to a relationship with her father, so be prepared for that. You cannot deny that relationship, and you cannot decide whether or not he will have access to the child. That's what the attorneys, and court are for at this point.
To get a birth certificate amended is, indeed a legal manner, but it is very simple. (at least in Wyoming). We had to petition the courts (no attorney needed) to get my son's amended. If no one challenged the petition, the judge granted the request, the record was amended, and that was that. If it is the same where he lives, he very well could have petitioned, and if you didn't challenge, the amendment could have been made. I'm not saying that it did happen or was amended, just that sometimes those things can be ridiculously simple. You'd have to look up the legal process for the state in which he resides.
As far as moving, well, if he knew she was his daughter, and you were trying to get him to step up, he can use that move as a reason why he hasn't: You removed the child from easy visitation access. I'm not saying that excuse will fly, but he may try.
Your best bet, at this point is to have an attorney, request a court ordered paternity test (in which he'll be served notice, and have to comply), and request full custody with a supervised visitation until the child gets to know her father, at which point an amended visitation agreement can be negotiated.
Michelle - posted on 07/21/2015
I'm also wondering if you are receiving the child support he says he is paying or has he just said he is paying?
I would take Shawnn's advice though. Get yourself a lawyer and establish paternity, custody and visitation.
Sarah - posted on 07/21/2015
Shawnn seems to be more informed than I so follow her advice. My experience with birth certificates comes from working in labor and delivery in IL. If the mom doesn't name the dad, it's left blank and I have had fathers standing there pitching a huge scene demanding to be put on the document.
I can see how if he petitioned to be added and it was advertised and sent to your old residence...it may have happened. The question remains; Are you getting support from him? If so, he got himself added. check with the Dept. of Human Services in the state/county she was born and inquire if there is a support order in her benefit.
Sarah - posted on 07/21/2015
First, are you receiving child support or he just saying he is paying it? Second, you hold her original birth certificate and if his name is not on it, you can rest easy. He cannot just have himself added by claiming to be her father. To get added to the birth certificate, he would have to petition the court. Then the county court would have sent you notice to bring your child in for a DNA test to establish paternity. None of this would have happened without your knowledge.
Now, child support and custody are not related. You could file for support, but to be awarded child support, you'd have to go through with the DNA test to prove he is her father. He, just like you, has a legal obligation to financially support his child until age 18. This is true even if he never sees her at all. Custody, or even visitation is completely different. Since he is not "legally" identified as her father, he can't just come and collect her. However, if he wants to see her, have joint custody, or even try to get full custody; he can petition the court for that as well. If you get an order to bring her for a DNA test, do not refuse and if he is established as her father he is probably going to at least get visitation. He has a right to know and see his child. If you try to prevent it, then you may be accused of parental alienation and that will not look good if this all winds up in court.
Why do you think he is suddenly requesting to see her?
Korrie - posted on 07/21/2015
When i had Kataleya he wasn't around and didn't want anything to do with us. So when i filled out the papers i left his name out. He got a hold of me the other day saying his was paying child support. Im not on any assistants and i know i didn't file for child support. No he is saying that he wants full custody and his name is on her birth certificate. Im just trying to figure out how it can happen and if it did why wasn't i notified about the changes. Plus he never did a dna test. I had one order and he never showed and they didnt take any dna from my daughter. I have 3 copies of her birth certificate but i got them when she was born. Thats why im asking how do i find out if he is on it or not. I have raised my child since she was born, i tried to ask him to meet her and asked if she could meet his family but he was just shut down the idea. Now im scared he can come in here and take away my daughter cause he is "paying child support" and is on the birth certificate. I dont know anything about this and when i ask around they tell me to buy a new one. He says he is going to press charges on me for movin to iowa with my daughter but i moved out here right after she was born and he denied her.. im lost and confused
Sarah - posted on 07/21/2015
Did you name him as the father at the birth? He would not have been able to "sneak" his name on to the document. Go to the county clerk's office in the county she was born and ask them if you can see the original? You really should have a copy anyway, the first one is free and extra certified copies are not expensive. You will need a copy to put her in school etc.
I am curious why you are unsure if he is on the birth certificate? If he is her father, he should absolutely be on the document. It entitles her to benefits in the event of his passing or disability.
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms