Kristen - posted on 04/18/2015 ( 15 moms have responded )
Ok, my boyfriend and I are expecting a little girl in about 3-4 weeks. We live in Missouri. Obviously, we are not married. The pregnancy was not planned, but we have been dealing with it fine....until now. I can tell you the exact day my daughter was conceived because it is the only day after my last period that we had sex and it was unprotected. All the dates line up perfectly to the day we had sex being the day she was conceived. I did not sleep with anyone else. My boyfriend's mother hates me and, because of this, denies that he is the father. I agreed to one of those private at home DNA tests after the baby is born just to shut her up and prove her wrong (NOT because there are any doubts on my part).
This was all fine until the conversation I had with my boyfriend tonight. He does not want to sign the birth certificate until the test comes back to prove he is the father. Apparently, according to his mother, there are rumors going around that he is not the father (mind you...I lived several hours away from where his mother lives when my daughter was conceived so I am not really sure who is spreading rumors and what they could even possibly be saying)! Maybe it's not so hard to understand why I hate his mother just as much as she hates me...
But anyways, I have some major issues with him not signing the birth certificate.
+First, his lack of trust enrages me. I have always been loyal and have never done anything to put my loyalty in doubt. Isn't it enough that I consented to a DNA test without complaint or worry?
+Second, it suddenly feels like he is trying to get out of his responsibility as her father by not claiming her.
+Third, once the test proves he is the father, how hard is it to have him sign the birth certificate and get all of that changed?
+Fourth, what about her last name? We were going to give her his last name...but if he doesn't sign her birth certificate, how does that work?
+Fifth, how embarrassing is it going to be in the hospital to have him there, but not signing the birth certificate? Suddenly, the big day that I've been looking forward to for months is starting to look bitter and full of resentment. Aside from having unprotected sex with my boyfriend of several years when I was not married and not trying to get pregnant...what is it exactly that I have done wrong again?
I guess I can understand that having these kinds of doubts in the back of your mind can be hard for a Dad. I can see how they could creep in and ruin his joy at being a new parent. So I am happy to swallow my pride and have a DNA test done to put any doubt/fear to rest so that he can love her with his full heart. I KNOW with absolute certainty that she is his and I want him to have that same certainty. But not signing the birth certificate is crossing the line of my patience and understanding.
******If the DNA test shows he is not the father (which, again, will just not be the case), it's not like he will be required to pay child support for a child that is not his just because he signed the birth certificate, right?******
I am going to have him read the responses here....so if anyone has any information they'd like to direct at him, feel free.