Birth Control for my 14 yr old daughter?

[deleted account] ( 24 moms have responded )

My 14 yr old daughter has been sexually active, she has come to me & told me. She has not been in at least 3 months because she has been grounded & on lock down, not because of that but because of attitude & lying, sneaking around with a boy that mistreated her. I myself was a teenage mother, had my son at 16 & her at 19 so you would understand why I immediately had her put on birth control. This all came about over a yr ago, we started with pills, that didn't work out, so we switched to the depo shot. She gained about 15 lbs & it's giving her bad acne. not to mention her attitude & mood swings have been crazy. So now we are opting for the merina, her doctor said she can get it but if it becomes to painful she will stop & not insert it. Her appointment is Tuesday, I'm starting to reconsider but she must have something. Any opinions on this?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/11/2013

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"Thank you. Drugs & alcohol, definitely not. She is always with me or my husband. But summer is over & she starts high school this year, can't take any chances!"

If she was always with you are your husband, she would not be having sex. Don't dismiss the possibility of her drinking and doing drugs just cause she says so. Yeah, you don't need to comment on my last post. It was the point I was trying to get across, not a response from you. Condoms NEED to be used as a preventative also. Don't rely on chemical birth controls, because they do not protect against std's. Hope you at least got her the HPV vaccination since she is clearly high risk for it. Especially since you admitted that she is irresponsible.

[deleted account]

It is always safer to be on the safe side since media now idolize teen moms. Unless you want to be changing diapers again, I'd definitely find BC that's best for her. And trust me it doesn't matter how many times teens get the sex talk and STD talk they choose what they want. Hope it works out!

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Erin - posted on 08/13/2013

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Only that I've seen soo many law suits on tv of it rupturing the uterus, causing horrible pain- so if he is able to insert it without her having a fit of pain, I'd constantly be aware of it and any new symptoms that start after its been inserted, whew I commend you for being smart enough to know once she became sexually active she wasn't going to all of the sudden stop- and that having safe sex is such a better choice than pretending like there is no sex happening or it's just gonna go away... I'd ask if there are any new birth control pills that cause less side effects then what you had before.. Best of luck to you not becoming a granny until she's grown up finished college and is happily married-;)

Ann - posted on 08/13/2013

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At this point it would seem trial and error. There are multiple forms of birth control out there and she just has to try and try until she is comfortable with one that is well suited for her. Most birth control pills I tried made me gain 15-20lbs the first month i was on it and i got frequent breakouts I never had before because of the hormones in the pills. After trying the shot, the ring, and multiple pills, i settled on the Evra Patch. I put it on the same time once a week for three weeks, off for a week (which is when you get your period) and then repeat the cycle. I found this worked for me because I kept forgetting to take my pill and had to keep restarting cycles. And you can place it somewhere on your body that's not noticeable as my friends questioned me when i was starting the pills when i was around your daughters age. Just see what works best for her and sooner or later she'll be alright, her body will get used to the hormones in the birth control and her body should eventually start going back to normal :) good luck!

Samantha - posted on 08/12/2013

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But keep in mind, all birth controls are different and all women are different. I tried almost every pill out there because I could never get the hormone levels right & that's why some girls gain weight on the Depo shot.

Samantha - posted on 08/12/2013

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I was started on birth control pills at 14, not for sexual activity but to 'jump start' my period. They helped with a lot of issues I had but were also there for when I did become sexually active with my still boyfriend and I'm 21 now. Even if she suddenly stopped being sexually active, some form of conception should always be In play, for me personally I chose the pill until I was 19 and was allowed the Implinon, which is like a tiny little piece of plastic inserted into the veins in my arm. I love it! I've loved in for years! It's hard to keep teenagers from having sex, but it's best to know how to keep her safe.

A - posted on 08/12/2013

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I think Little Miss is just trying to make a point that I happen to agree with, but I won't lecture you. I will say that it is a good thing you chose not to do Mirena at least for now- I have it and I love it but it is very painful to put in (I can't handle pain). Plus, I think you can't get it unless you have had one child already- at least that is what I have heard.

Holly - posted on 08/12/2013

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You need to Google pic STDs. It's all well & good to avoid doing the teen pregnancy/poverty road, but sometimes sex is life & death or long term infection such as Herpes. I do ER admitting and find it depressing to check in 30-somethings who are terminal with cervical cancer with only a year to live bc they started having sex young (99.9% of cervical cancers are caused by HPV which is often asymptomatic). I try to teach young people labs before "love." Hepatitis, HIV, PID, & infertility are all risk factors for early sexual behaviors and lifelong numerous partners. She needs your guidance, it could save her life. Good luck.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/11/2013

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ANd I read all the comments already, it isn't going to stop me from stating my mind.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/11/2013

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Just proof, if you cannot discuss hard issues, don't bring them up.

[deleted account]

Please block me, I don't like repeating myself & I don't keyboard tough guys. Your constantly remarking on things I have already addressed in previous post replies. She had sex a little over a year ago, 2 occasions with the same boy, I know she used protection because I saw texts between her & the boy. She has not done anything since then because well she's been on restriction for over a year. But high school begins this year, she will attend the largest high school I'm our state so I'm cautious. I was a great child until high school so I take my experiences in account when it comes to her, she's a lot like I was. I am however not the least bit naive, as my parents were! I was also a drug user, clean for 12 yrs now, thank you, but I know all about drugs & alcohol & my kids hate what it did to me, they despise drugs. But I'm not naive to think that under pressure she wouldn't try something to fit in! I don't know many young teens that are very responsible. I take it you have teenagers, I'm happy your are, congratulations!

[deleted account]

Thank you. Drugs & alcohol, definitely not. She is always with me or my husband. But summer is over & she starts high school this year, can't take any chances!

[deleted account]

Maybe your daughter has PMDD. I think that it was a very smart thing to. Beware of IUDs since they have so many recalls and lawsuits (although I have never used one). You can also try the patch or a different kind of BC pills. But maybe there is an underlying reason to the outbursts...maybe if shes having sex shes doing other things that are not appropriate like drinking or drugs. The attitude could just be a teenage thing. I know that my sister was a real rebel to my mother and their bond got stronger when she moved out. It might take a few years for the attitude to stop but stick with it. Best of Luck!

[deleted account]

Yep most children are irresponsible & it is absolutely my position that she NOT HAVE sex but I can't keep her locked up forever, can't be with her 24/7, been there, didn't work! My responsibility as her mom is to make sure she is protected against everything I can & that's exactly what I will do. We are very open with one another, talk extensively about everything, not just sex. I won't even respond to your other comment bc it's childish & just ignorant, I don't do ignorant. I love this site bc usually I come on & help when I can or get help from other parents on topics they have had experience with, or that I have, this is definitely a first for me to a negative experience. I won't stoop to internet bashing, it's pointless. So thanks for taking your time to comment.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/11/2013

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Just stressing the importance of it Wendy. And if she is that irresponsible, she should not be having sex. It is a grown up thing, and if she cannot take charge of her own birth control, she should not be having sex. Do you need to be in the bedroom with her and tell her the appropriate positions too?

[deleted account]

Jen.. we did discuss nuva ring also with the doctor, it may be an option in the future. Today her & I talked about it, she let me know she was afraid to get the mirana right now & wanted to just stay on her depo so that's the plan. We'll revisit in a few years I guess. Thanks everyone

[deleted account]

I have already addressed all that in previous responses. No need in repeating but I do talk to her, it's a choice my husband & I made to have her on contraceptive. I was told by my mom at 15 no bc it was permission, well I was pregnant 4 months later. I don't want my kids to go through the struggle we have so I'll protect her from her irresponsible behavior until she graduates high school.

Jen - posted on 08/11/2013

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She could try the Nuva Ring. That is what I use and have not had mood swing problems with it (like I did on the pill). Also, you only need to think about it once month, when it's time to change the ring (you can actually leave it in 4 weeks then switch it out with another and skip you period. My Gyno said it is fine, you only need to have it out for a week if you want to). Not quite as foolproof as Depo, but better than a pill. Just an idea.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/11/2013

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Teach her how to use condoms. Talk to her and educate her about safe sex. It is not only about avoiding pregnancy, but avoiding STD's. She is way to young to be having sex. Period. And birth controls such as the pill and IUD's encourage not using condoms.

[deleted account]

Oh believe me we talk to her & her siblings often about everything to do with the real world. My 10 yr old knows about std's, being a young mother myself I guess I never was very conventional in the ways of old school, not wanting to have "the talk" with my kids, we are very open in our house. I know that the 2 times she had sex with the ex boyfriend she did use condoms, not bc she told me but bc I read it in text messages between them when she decided to use her little sisters phone one night when hers was dead. She's really a good kid, we're very close & I've always been comfortable being open with them & them with me. My son is 17 & still a virgin, he has no problem with people knowing but he'll also tell ya you better knock on his door if you don't want to walk into something you don't want to see lol. So back to the topic at hand, birth control... I slept on it & I think we're going to stick with the depo until at least 16. I feel more comfortable with that.

Ev - posted on 08/11/2013

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If its not the depo shot or the pills or anything else that causes her mood swings it could be her natural ocurring hormones. She is still developing too. But I am in agreement with Michelle on the fact that she needs more protection than just birth control pills, depo or the Mirena. She needs to learn about STD's and what can happen to her. Once she gets one, and not all of them can be cured, it will ruin her life as far as having relationships and having a family someday.

Michelle - posted on 08/11/2013

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I personally wouldn't go the mirena but my daughter is old enough to worry about what I would do.
Have you discussed condoms with her as well? She needs to be protected against STI's as well as pregnancy though. If she caught something it could make her infertile and I'm sure she doesn't want that.

[deleted account]

Well I didn't attribute the mood swings with the depo because that was my form of birth control before my tubal and I never experienced anything but the weight gain. Her doctor recommended it, along with her step mom & some of my friends who use it or have used it with great results. I have been on Google all night though, trying to form my own opinion. I thought you had to have a child before you could get that but her doctor said that's not the case anymore. I just wanted some other moms opinions, what they would do.

Michelle - posted on 08/11/2013

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You think she's having bad mood swings on the depo shot then you really need to read up about the Mirena. That is pretty bad as well for mood swings and the rest.

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