bisexual

Snow - posted on 05/03/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter is a great student and we are so proud of her. She is 15 and she is a very good girl. She felt depressed for about one year because she couldn't find friends with similar interest but she was happy when she was busy studying in school. Two weeks ago she told me that she is a bisexual ...I lost my mind and I cried with hours..my husband blame on me that I give her a lot of freedom and I trusted her... i am blame him because he need to spend more time with her in last couple of years not working and looking own interest.
I don't know what to do? I told her she has a choice to try to find a man ( she had crush on coupe of boys) and stop talk about this thematic. She agreed but I can't trust her anymore. I am so despaired.... I want my daughter back.

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Raye - posted on 05/04/2016

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There's nothing wrong with your daughter being bi-sexual. It's nobody's "fault" and who your daughter is attracted to doesn't change who she really is as a person. Seems like her parents are more confused than she is. You or her father trying to make her into something she's not and making her feel bad for not having control over who she is attracted to will not help your daughter. You should have a talk with her about the risks of having any sex with any gender. She can still get STD's from female partners. As long as she's being responsible and not sleeping around then it shouldn't matter the gender of who she wants to be with. You should love her either way.

You can also talk to her about types of love. She may be confused about her feelings and she may equate love with sex or being "in love". These are different things. She can love her friends (male or female), but being head-over-heals "in love" with someone is different. And sex should be reserved for that special someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Talk to her and have her really think about her feelings and which type of people she feels the most strongly about. There shouldn't be a right or wrong answer.

In my younger days, I considered having sexual interactions with another female. But, I know myself and I know I could never fall in love with a woman or want to spend my life with a woman. "Experimenting" doesn't necessarily mean you're bi-sexual or gay. I feel those labels are more about who you connect with on a deeper level. So, although I have no moral objections to having sex with another woman and I can find attractiveness in the female form, I don't consider myself bi-sexual because I never felt strongly enough to fall "in love" with a woman, or even to actually go through with having sex with one. This may be my own interpretation of the definition of being bi-sexual, but that's how I feel about it.

Sarah - posted on 05/04/2016

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Raye and Shawnn really summarize my feelings as well. While many GLBT adults identify they were certain of their sexuality at a young age, many teens do confuse the strong affection felt for close friends as romantic in nature. She's 15, give her some time to figure it out.
However, ask yourself would you rather have her hide, lie, sneak around and deceive you about her relationships? Have her deny who she truly is and become depressed living a life she is not happy living? Have her live her life alone, out of fear that loving a woman will end her relationship with you? Or, her choosing to love a woman, be happy, be herself, safe and cherished? She was brave enough to tell you, can't you be brave enough to at least try to handle it?
She may love both men and women, how does that change her from being a great kid, a good girl, one you are proud of and your daughter?

Sarah - posted on 05/04/2016

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You don't have to agree with her life choices, that is not what I am saying. But, if you want her to remain in your life, happy and healthy, you do have to accept them. The idea that you "made her bisexual" is absurd. God made her perfectly. And again, let's remember she is 15....

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/04/2016

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LMAO. Your daughter is the way she is. If you try to force her to be the way you want her to be (straight), you are creating more problems.

Can you not just love your daughter and accept that she is bisexual? Seriously? You need counseling. She does, to deal with your lack of acceptance. You do, because you seem to be ignorant of lgbtq issues

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JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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I had my first crush when i was in about 2nd grade .. to a female .

my first kiss, to a female .

my first date, to a female .

just love your daughter..

she's in hs , let her live and accept her.

if you shut her out you will very much so regret it later on...

Snow - posted on 05/04/2016

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Thank you for your answer. I will talk with her and yes, maybe this is just an "experimenting" until she decide what she likes more. I love her so much no matter what. I will do everything for her. She is my only one child and I want her to be happy and healthy. I guess I need counseling to accept her life choice. I can't loose her she is my life.

Michelle - posted on 05/04/2016

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You and your husband need to pull your heads in and stop blaming each other. It's no ones "fault", it's just who your daughter is.
Your daughter hasn't gone anywhere so you can't get her back. She's still the same person, still a great student for you to be proud of.
If you still want a relationship with her then you need to accept the person she is. If you don't then she will cut you out of her life. As a parent we should love our children unconditionally and you aren't doing that. You are putting conditions on your love and no child should have that.

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