[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )
Hi, everyone. I am new to the site and I have never joined a community on-line to seek parenting advice, but I am desperate and confused.
The back story is too long, but we have been having trouble with our 16 year old daughter for about 3 years now. She is a highly intelligent, creative, beautiful, funny and kind girl, BUT, she also lies, manipulates, and can be very disrespectful. She has a history of depression and Borderline Personality Disorder.
Long story, short; I have recently found out she has a "crush" on a good female friend of hers. I found out by reading some of her poems she had on her computer, I know, some of you may say this is an invasion of privacy, but as I said, there is more to the story and I would like to avoid that aspect of the situation, Anyway, she hesitantly admitted to liking her friend, but did not want a sexual relationship with her, because historically when she has been in a relationship with a boy that started out as a friendship, the friendship was loss. She also says her friend does not know she likes her and she said she is not a lesbian.
I doubt that. From my observation, it is quite clear that this young lady returns my daughters feeling, I think she is a lesbian. This is just a very strong gut feeling. My gut is telling me that they like each other and are in a relationship. Is it sexual yet, I don't know. But, some of my daughters poems were about kissing her, She said it was from a "dream", that they kissed.
To all the moms out there. What about sleepovers with each other in this situation? I know I do not have all the facts and that I am being lied to. Would I let a boy stay that she was interested in? No way.
I have told my daughter that I love her no matter who she loves and nothing will ever stop me from loving her. But, I am looking at it from the view point of trying to be a responsible parent and not permitting her to be in a sexual relationship before she is ready, including emotionally ready, which I don't think she is.