Bisexual daughter & sleepovers

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Hi, everyone. I am new to the site and I have never joined a community on-line to seek parenting advice, but I am desperate and confused.

The back story is too long, but we have been having trouble with our 16 year old daughter for about 3 years now. She is a highly intelligent, creative, beautiful, funny and kind girl, BUT, she also lies, manipulates, and can be very disrespectful. She has a history of depression and Borderline Personality Disorder.

Long story, short; I have recently found out she has a "crush" on a good female friend of hers. I found out by reading some of her poems she had on her computer, I know, some of you may say this is an invasion of privacy, but as I said, there is more to the story and I would like to avoid that aspect of the situation, Anyway, she hesitantly admitted to liking her friend, but did not want a sexual relationship with her, because historically when she has been in a relationship with a boy that started out as a friendship, the friendship was loss. She also says her friend does not know she likes her and she said she is not a lesbian.
I doubt that. From my observation, it is quite clear that this young lady returns my daughters feeling, I think she is a lesbian. This is just a very strong gut feeling. My gut is telling me that they like each other and are in a relationship. Is it sexual yet, I don't know. But, some of my daughters poems were about kissing her, She said it was from a "dream", that they kissed.

To all the moms out there. What about sleepovers with each other in this situation? I know I do not have all the facts and that I am being lied to. Would I let a boy stay that she was interested in? No way.

I have told my daughter that I love her no matter who she loves and nothing will ever stop me from loving her. But, I am looking at it from the view point of trying to be a responsible parent and not permitting her to be in a sexual relationship before she is ready, including emotionally ready, which I don't think she is.

3 Comments

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Maleaka - posted on 01/09/2014

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Dear might be u dont knw ur daughter watch lesbians cliping and she was thinking its a fun or if i like to start a gf its not risky.u have to talk wiyh her very calmly and politly.tell her this is not good for ur future.and dont leave her alone in her room

Leslie - posted on 01/09/2014

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I personally wouldn't allow a sleep over but Im also not a fan of sleep overs to begin with. They are a privilege not a right. Any time you feel it's not in the best interest of your child then your the parent and our parenting style is that this is enough reason to say no. I'd offer them another choice of activity to show some support but in a way you feel comfortable and appropriate.

Maleaka - posted on 01/09/2014

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Dont worry .she is not lesbian.its very common u dont need to worry.mine onr friend also crushed on me but i handeld her now she has changed her thinking .she is normal now.she is having bf now

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