blended family

Shannon M. - posted on 01/07/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have been with spouse for nearly 13 years. We have a total of 8 kids. 6 at home. 4 teens and our 2 together. We are so divided and on constant egg shells. We were good until one daughter started being lying and manipulative. He always made me do the disciplining and now doesn't care for the way it has turned out. Real mom died when his kids were babies. I'm all they know. Need someone who may have similar experience.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/07/2015




You both need to work together, and as a family.

If he expected you to be the primary disciplinarian, and he is now not happy with how that is turning out, he needs to be willing to sit down and work out a plan for BOTH of you to handle things.

Raye - posted on 01/07/2015




If he has (until now) left the child raising and discipline up to you, then he doesn't have much room to talk. However, his opinions should be considered. You really need to talk to your husband and get on the same page with how to approach this problem and stand united with your kids.

If only one child is acting out in such a way as to cause tension in your marriage, then it sounds like the situation is new to both of you. I'm sure you both just want your daughter to behave and be a happy kid. So your goals are probably the same, it's just how you reach them that needs to be worked out. Neither of you will have all the correct answers to make that happen. And it is not one parent's fault that this situation has occurred. It happens to the best of us.

Bottom line... you have to work together, or the daughter will tear you apart. When talking to your husband, shift the focus away from your differences and try to find common ground. It's not about what you or he did wrong as parents. Don't continue to place blame or feel guilty, as that won't get you anywhere. It's about learning what influences have driven your daughter to display such actions, and what can be done going forward to help her overcome those issues. If it turns out to be a direct result of one parent's behavior, then admit to the mistake and shift focus again to how her issues can be resolved.

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