Blended Family

Francisca - posted on 09/20/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Problems and solutions surrounding a blended family.

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Raye - posted on 09/22/2015

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I am a step-mom of two. It is very hard trying to combine different personality types and parenting styles. Hang in there. Communicate with your husband and try to be on the same page with him regarding all the kids. Try not to give special treatment. Enforce the rules. It might be time for the 18 and 19 year olds to think about moving out, or else you need to have a written agreement on the conditions under which they get to remain living at home.

Angela - posted on 09/21/2015

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I absolutely agree !! It's definitely something to think long and hard about before doing it .

Jodi - posted on 09/21/2015

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People really should consider marital counselling before they go headlong into a blended family.

Jodi - posted on 09/21/2015

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I honestly believe that blended families are the reason the divorce rate is so high in second and subsequent marriages - they are hard work, and it is so much harder to be on the same page as your partner and children when there are children from different families, different backgrounds, different biological parents.

Firstly, 18 - 19 year olds ARE a little bit selfish anyway (most teens are, for that matter). What are they doing that is bothering you so much? 18 and 19 year olds shouldn't be fighting or teasing younger kids and your husband and yourself need to come to a conclusion about the consequences for this. What are they doing to get the younger ones in trouble?

I would suggest that if things are really bad, you should consider family counselling. It is really time for you and your husband to discuss parenting matters as a whole to ensure you can parent TOGETHER consistently. Even if you have responsibility for discipline of your children, and he has responsibility to discipline of his children, these should be in consultation with each other and agreed to as a way you choose to raise a family together.

Francisca - posted on 09/20/2015

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I got married again about 4 years ago, i have 3 kids, twins of 9 and a daughter of 10, my husband has 2 teenagers, 18 and 19. the last 3 1/2 years have been crazy between the kids fighting and us fighting about the kids i am in need of help as i feel pulled between my husband and my kids. i try to accommodate the teens as most i can but i feel like they are so selfish and keep op trying to get the little ones into trouble and my husband only sees the little one's mistakes. i don't know what to do and talking about it creates fights and more distance between myself and my husband

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