[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )
To those of you dealing with a biological parent who exhibits symptoms of Narcissism or BPD (stalking, triangulation, parental alienation, lying about you to the kids to get them to hate you or not want to visit), how do you deal with it? I've gone no contact but I see her results rubbing off on the kids. She has forced her daughter to block me on her phone and not allow her to visit our home to see the other kids (she's over 18) or she will be kicked out. She tells my step-son lies about us and constantly interferes with visitation covertly by telling him that if he visits, we will be busy and won't do anything with him, won't take him to his games, etc....My biggest concern is that the behavior is rubbing off on my step-son. Not only does he show disrespect to us both and tells us we aren't his "parents"...we're just the people he visits, but he threatens not to visit if we don't do what he wants. Of course we don't give in. We try to teach him about boundaries and respect and not threatening to get what he wants. But what else can we do? He's about to hit his teens and I know that there's a good chance that with everything he's learning, we might just lose him. She's already said that once he's over 12, we can't force him to visit (not that we've ever had to- he's always begged to visit more often). But he has told us that she tells him this and that if we upset him and don't do what he wants, he can choose not to come over. It's so sad to see him being destroyed this way. I worry he will grow up and be just like his mother. Thoughts?