Boyfriend has child from pervious relationship, would it be selfish to ask him to move in with me?

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Hello, I don't know if this is the right place to be, but I need some advise.

I am not a mother, but my fiance is a father to a wonderful 4 year old, but he only sees every 2 weeks for 1 day as his son lives with his mum full time.

We are in a long distant relationship, and the plan was me to move down to him because of his son but things have changed. He has no job, getting into debt, where I do have a very good job and living stably. I don't want to leave everything to go and live with someone who cannot provide for himself or for me.

If this continues, would it be selfish of me to ask him to move 2 hours away from his son to live with me and see his son every other weekend? He lives close just in case something happens to his son and he needs to be there.

Any thoughts? Just being a step mom to be, worried if I even mention it to the fiance he'll tell his son will see me as the 'evil step mum'.


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/23/2014




Actually, yes. He needs to think of his child, and the child's needs first and foremost.

If he's not got a job, and is falling into debt, his first concern should be rectifying that situation on his own, not moving his girlfriend in on top of it all. Plus, do you REALLY want to fully support him? Think about it. You'd be enabling him to stay jobless...are you planning on paying off his debt too?

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