Boyfriend hates my ex

Carrie - posted on 11/08/2017 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I am 38 mom of two boys. After 18 years of dating and being married to their dad, I decided to file for divorce. I was a single married woman in an unhealthy marriage..he has always struggled wirh alcoholism and had a year long affair ..so I decided to leave. He didn't take it well and has harassed me via text, has spread rumors about me via social media, has made "threats" to come over unannounced, etc. I met a man a year after the split and we have been together 4 years. He hates my ex and has put alot of structure in place, that was needed, to prevent alot of his bad behaviors towards me. I think my marriage was so dysfunctional, It has become the norm to ignore his bad behavior. The structures in place have significantly decreased these bad behaviors but my boyfriend is so hyperfocused on everything my ex does it causes so many fights. My boyfriend is alot like law enforcement or military in how he reacts .. he is very strict and has no flexibility. I don't think he should be involved in decision making regarding custody related concerns..he disagrees. I just don't know what to do. We fight over my ex or my kids and differ in how we discipline and handle situations. Is this normal? I think he over reacts and he thinks I'm too lax and we can't meet in the middle on any issue it seems.

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