Boyfriend hates my ex

Carrie - posted on 11/08/2017 ( no moms have responded yet )

5

0

0

I am 38 mom of two boys. After 18 years of dating and being married to their dad, I decided to file for divorce. I was a single married woman in an unhealthy marriage..he has always struggled wirh alcoholism and had a year long affair ..so I decided to leave. He didn't take it well and has harassed me via text, has spread rumors about me via social media, has made "threats" to come over unannounced, etc. I met a man a year after the split and we have been together 4 years. He hates my ex and has put alot of structure in place, that was needed, to prevent alot of his bad behaviors towards me. I think my marriage was so dysfunctional, It has become the norm to ignore his bad behavior. The structures in place have significantly decreased these bad behaviors but my boyfriend is so hyperfocused on everything my ex does it causes so many fights. My boyfriend is alot like law enforcement or military in how he reacts .. he is very strict and has no flexibility. I don't think he should be involved in decision making regarding custody related concerns..he disagrees. I just don't know what to do. We fight over my ex or my kids and differ in how we discipline and handle situations. Is this normal? I think he over reacts and he thinks I'm too lax and we can't meet in the middle on any issue it seems.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 11/09/2017

4,623

8

3247

Your boyfriend doesn't get a say in any decisions regarding custody. He is NOT the Father, that is between you and your ex.
You also need to be on the same page with discipline. It's not his place to give out discipline but he is there to back you up.
Maybe some relationship counseling would help him realize that he needs to step back and let you deal with the issues around the children.
It also sounds like you have gone from 1 controlling man to another. Maybe you need to look at the type of men you are getting involved with and if they really are right for you.

Anamaclellan - posted on 11/09/2017

27

0

0

Is your ex still involved in his children's lives? If he is then you should try to keep a sense of civility around for the sake of your kids and let your boyfriend know that he is still their father so we need to try to be civil, but if he isn't involved in their lives then maybe it is time to cut all ties and keep him out of all your lives, change a phone number, move or get off the internet, something like that. Good luck.

Anamaclellan - posted on 11/09/2017

27

0

0

Is your ex still involved in his children's lives? If he is then you should try to keep a sense of civility around for the sake of your kids and let your boyfriend know that he is still their father so we need to try to be civil, but if he isn't involved in their lives then maybe it is time to cut all ties and keep him out of all your lives, change a phone number, move or get off the internet, something like that. Good luck.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms