boyfriend left me and I have a week old

Jemma - posted on 04/22/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi really need some advice and help its a long story cut short my boyfriend owns a house and is still married to his wife and he has an obsession with this stupid house! He and his wife had sorted and she said he can have the house and shell find some were eles with half the house worth it because she wanted smaller and couldnt afford the rest of the morgage but now she wants the house which I dont blame her its her family home but my now ex weren't happy about it and he was ganna get a divorce. But both have to sell if carnt agree and I said well get some were eles I would prefer that but no he dont want to anyway we have been on and off millions of times because of this house even when I was pregnant iv gone though hell with it and been so stressed he doesnt seem the slightest botherd and hes left me again not only me his week old daughter who os gorgeous I dont know how he can love a house so much over me and his daughter but I still love him and want him but in another state off mind he has let me down broke my heart and broke my trust I dont think I could get back with him but love him to bits he will go back home to his wife and it kills me :( im a first time mum and I am soo worried and scared that I wont be able to look after and provide for her :( I dont qant to be a single mum I still have my job but hes works there to which doesn't help but think I will need another job aswell also hes wants her to have his name which I dont thinks right cus thats hos wife's name :@ also will he have more rights if he trys anyhing ?? Sorry to bore you lol but im so heartbroken and depressed and trying to be strong for my little girl he also keeps saying he loves us both whoh I dont believe why would u choose a house over a women that would do anything for hom and a gorgeous baby ?

4 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 04/23/2014

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You don't have to give your child his name if you don't want to. If you name him as the Father on the birth certificate then he will have just as much right to his daughter as you do. He's her Father.
Do you have any friends or family around for help and support? Maybe even join a Mother's group so you can meet other Mother's in the same situation. Talk to your doctor and see if they know of any groups in your area.

Jemma - posted on 04/22/2014

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I would never stop my child seeing her dad I ent like that yer I got my self in to a mess but its a bit late for that advice.... and I know its know his wife fault this advice that your given is not what im asking im not asking for a lecture and trust me I wont be going near a man again im her mother and hes her dad why has he got more rights then me over her second name ? He hasnt the second name im not really botherd about its a name and it will change when shes married dpnt concern me and the trust thing bit is has jhe got more rights then me if shes got his second name custody I mean and I dont want to give her up thats just sick im finding it very difficult atm with her thats all :s dont give me a lecture please im asking on how to cope ? And if he loved his wife and wanted her why did he tell her the 1st day it happend and rwcored it saying he loves me and wants to be with me ? Hes a very different odd man he ent like others he qas in care and this house he brougt he built it all up and its his confort blanket in a way hes obsessed with it its the only thats his to keep I tried leaving before it got in to it but was too late :( I already feel bad for his wife I didnt want to split them but he said they ent together but living together sooo I didnt do anything n she said the same

Ashley - posted on 04/22/2014

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He used u. You should never get with a married man. Especially, if yoinu dont want to get hurt. He does have a right to have his baby named after him, but that is really your decision to make. But dont use his wife as an excuse because u knew he was married when u got with him and when you got pregnant. Its not the wifes fault and she had no part in making the baby so dont try to put any of it on her. If I were you, I would not get back with him and I would only talk to him about the baby. No matter what happens between you and him, or him and his wife, he is still your babies dad and still has the right to be in her life. Dont try to stop your child from having a relationship with their dad because he lied to you and went back home to his wife. Its bad enough the child was brought into this very sucky situation without a choice, so dont make it any harder on your baby. She deserves to have her mom and dad. Go for full custody with him having visitation. Go for child support. Be the best mom you can be and if you feek you cant, then let her dad have custody with you getting visitation. Remember, its not about the adults anymore, its all about this baby and what is best for her regardless of how you adults feel about it. And learn from your mistakes, and dont let yourself or a child be put in this situation again. Im not trying to be harsh or mean. I just think that when a married man tries to get with someone else, then that person should turn and run and fast because it hardly ever turns out the way the mistress wanted it to and a LOT of people get hurt in these situations, including innocent children. But thats just my opinion and everybody has their own. But good luck to you.

Michelle - posted on 04/22/2014

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If I were you I would run. He's not going to leave his wife for you and is using the house as an excuse. That's the chance you take when you get involved with a married man.
Make sure you file for child support and get court ordered visitation.

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