Boyfriend left us. Help?

Jordan - posted on 11/19/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




So my boyfriend & I were so happy & in love until about 6 or 7 months ago. This was mainly around the time I found out what I was having when I was pregnant. We are both pretty young & neither of us were ready. But we made the choice to move in together. Not long after, it seemed as if the reality of it set into his head. He became much more stressed, & the pressures definitely took their toll. I tried my hardest to stay strong for him & be understanding but made a huge damper on our relationship. It eventually got to the point where he pushed me away. With a "it's not you its me" & he was sorry he wasn't giving me what I deserved & I deserved better. I was very hurt by all this & agreed to move out. Well that exact same night, he begged & pleaded me not to leave & said what a mistake it was, & he wanted us together as a family. I ended up staying & we worked things out & things got better. Not the best they were, like pre-pregnancy but much better than before.
Well our daughter is now 6 weeks old. & this time he left the home completely. I totally didn't see any signs this time because we were doing a lot better. Same exact excuses, saying I deserved better & he was sorry he couldn't be as good to me as I was to him. This was a week ago he left. We haven't talked much at all besides when he randomly showed up to the house to see our daughter. He walked in like he still lived here, & ate some food. Acted like nothing was wrong but cried when he left, & tried to hold me close & kiss my forehead, but I shoved him off... It's all very confusing. I have no idea what to think. Part of me just wants to let go. He keeps leaving me at hard times why should I care?? But I love him as well. & that's what makes deciding so hard. He had been babied & bailed out by his parents his whole life & so I don't think he naturally learned to handle stress well. I try so hard to see where he's coming from & keep hope hell come around. Like I said were both young. Early 20's. & Life hit us both very fast. (I'm aware that was our fault based on decisions we made) but I don't know if I should wait & help him when it's obvious he's having a hard time. Or if maybe it's truly over & I should move on, because he's done it twice now I should catch on.. But I'm losing my mind. I'm still on maternity leave so I sit home all day & drive myself insane. I'm heartbroken & need advice.


Gena - posted on 11/19/2013




Have you thought about going to a couples therapie?You could maybe ask him if he would be willing to go together.. The other thing is having a child changes so many stuff in life,you are both new parents and it takes time to adjust to the new situation.Maybe he is having a hard time dealing with it,also lots of mothers have a hard time in the beginning.Less sleep,baby is crying and you dont know what to do etc.It can be very emotional at some times.I think if you could sit down with him and speek about it it could help. Ask him why he thinks you deserve better,if he really loves you?If he does then he should be prepaired to help you and stick together also in difficult times.And also explain to him that its not fair that he walks out on you when he is to stressed.Good luck and congratulations on your baby :-)

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