Boyfriend's son

Katie - posted on 01/23/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

4

0

1

I have been with my boyfriend since last February. We knew each other from work and things professed quickly. He brings a 10 year old son and I bring a 3year old daughter. My bf and his ex baby the boy bad. His grades are horrible but if I ask if I could help him he goes crying (literally) to his dad and mom. Grades are so important. He's getting Bs and As on the test but 50% of his homework. So at the base of this is laziness.
He is completely helpless. He can't make his own plate and dinner then expects me to deal with his plate. He has verbal outburst and has thrown him self to the ground sobbing when he doesn't get his way. Every time I try to talk to the bf he gets all mad. I don't know what to do. I want so much for him. I feel the same about him as I do my daughter and want great things for him, even after how disrespectful he has been to me. How can I help him change his bad habits without fighting? Or should I just stay out of it and let his dad handle it and wash my hands clean

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Raye - posted on 01/25/2016

3,761

0

21

I would run for the hills and not look back. If both parents are not having boundaries and providing discipline, then that child is going to be a terror. And your child may learn bad behaviors from him.

I am a step-mom, and it's a very difficult road. My husband and I are not always on the same page with discipline (he's very inconsistent), but at least we can talk about it and he backs me up. Children NEED structure and discipline. And you need to have some authority in your own house. Sometimes you will need to just step-back and let the bio-parents handle things, but if your husband won't allow you any say, then you might want to save yourself a lot of heartache and get out now.

6 Comments

View replies by

Ev - posted on 01/24/2016

7,380

7

910

I can understand that as a mom you want the best for the boy but at this point your are just the girlfriend not the step mom. He is not going to easily listen to you. How long have you been around the boy? Maybe he does not like the changes? But if he has been raised this way, its going to take a lot for dad and mom to get this child to change his tune and do what is right. If he is at your house at meal time let dad handle the plate instead of you. It sounds like the parents have allowed this child to do as he wants to do. And you can not change that over night but it has to be up to his parents to make the changes.

Sara - posted on 01/24/2016

10

0

2

Your heart is in the right place but unfortunately it won't come across as so. As much as.you love and respect him and his father you have to stay out of it. I have been with y husband for almost 10 years and the moment a suggestion was given his mother protested amything I had to say and later in the years anything g my husband had to say. Its a sad situation and sometimes the parents need to work it out. At least for my situation. Just leave him alone and if he misbehaves then tell.him right then and there that its unacceptable and remind your daughter how not to act...

Katie - posted on 01/23/2016

4

0

1

Forgot a few things. I spend a great deal of time...babysitting sounds wrong...I guess being in charge of his care when his dad is at work and I'm off. If I correct his behavior I end up in trouble. The boy has even made the comment before that he is the king at our house and me and my daughter should know this by now. He said that in front of his dad and there was no protest.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms