Boys playing dress-up?

Jacquelyn - posted on 07/03/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

13

0

0

Hi moms! I've caught my 8 year old son playing dress up with my things. Like, he'll be in his room throwing my silk scarves around his neck, he's always REALLY interested when I'm putting on lipstick in the mirror and I've caught him slipping his feet into my high heels on more than one occasion. I try to act like it's no big deal but I'm grappling with this. Should I look the other way or should I talk to him about it? I feel that saying nothing is condoning his behavior but at the same time, I don't want to embarrass him. Is this normal?

Also, if my husband found out, he would HIT THE ROOF. He is very macho and would probably make the situation worse by berating my son or even me for "allowing" him to be like this. He'd then proceed to taking him to every monster truck rally, gun range (were that legal) and hunting excursion within 1,000 miles of here to try to toughen him up. What do I do?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Firebird - posted on 07/03/2013

2,660

30

521

My little brother used to play dress up with me all the time when we were kids. In middle school he played the clarinet. In high school he took cooking class, played baseball and basketball. Now he's 25, wants to go to culinary school and his girlfriend is lovely.

Ev - posted on 07/03/2013

7,952

7

918

Jacquelyn-Its not "behavior". It is curiousity plain and simple. No one has a problem with a girl playing with boy toys but they sure do when it comes to a boy playing with any type of toys deemed girl toys. Its a normal part of growing up. As I said in my post, my father and son both played with dolls, my son played with his sister's shoes and wore them around the house, he tried out my perfume, he played with a kitchen center and so on. He is not gay. Playing dress up does not make one gay. And though I do not condone the gay lifestyle, its a part of life and I deal with it according to the situation. You have to look at the long term. He benefits playing dress up because it helps him with creativity and imagination. If you take this from him, he may loose out on his creative side and there is nothing, nothing at all wrong with that. How is a boy playing with dress up clothes any worse than a girl trying on her daddy's clothes in dress up? Nothing. There are also dress up clothing you can get for your son if you would rather he not use girly things. But I do endorse the use of girl stuff for boys as I do boy stuff for girls....its a learning process. Its also a stage that passes with time. You might have the next fashion designer in the world you know!

Amy - posted on 07/03/2013

6,467

33

2386

I personally don't see a problem. If your son ends up being gay it's not going to be because you didn't stop him from playing dress up. He'll be gay regardless (if he is) but the more open you are with him now the more likely he'll come to you if that's the case. If you make a big deal out of nothing do you think he's going to turn to you and your husband when there is "something"

But what are your concerns? Why does it bother you and your husband so much?

5 Comments

View replies by

Jacquelyn - posted on 07/03/2013

13

0

0

Thanks for the feedback ladies! I guess I worry that he'll be made fun of. He has an older brother and an older step-sister and am concerned they would either make fun of him or me for how he's "turning out". Also, what if they told his friends? He does it in private so he clearly is not comfortable enough to do it publicly. He'd be embarrassed if anyone found out.

Another reason is that truthfully, my husband has grown up feeling that being gay is wrong and bad. He would feel like less of a man if his only son was gay. It would crush him. I know that sounds selfish on his behalf but it is a valid concern for him. I don't know if dressing up means "gay" but am not sure what else it could mean. He's never seen his brother or other boys do it. He doesn't have a sister his age that plays it. I just have no clue where he picked this behavior up from.

Ev - posted on 07/03/2013

7,952

7

918

I have seen this question a lot and a lot of moms and even dads are in this same boat so to speak. I do not know if you will like what I have to say but I am going to be blunt about it.

Boys need to play dress up!

Why? Because it stimulates the imagination. They learn to work out different situations when they dress up and pretend. This also goes with boys playing with dolls. We see daddies taking care of kids so kids will emulate what they see the same as your son watching you dress up and put on make up or even tries on your shoes. It does not mean he is going to be gay and want to dress in women's clothing when he grows up. A lot of people freak out when they hear of boys playing with dress up things, kitchen sets, dolls and anything more associated with a girl. IF boys are not allowed to play with those toys too they miss out on a lot of social interactions and skills even. It does not hurt them. I believe it helps them become more rounded a person. As with all kids playing with toys that are more suited to the other gender gives them a chance to learn about other things. Did you know that there are a lot of MR. MOMs out there now a days. And I will bet you that those men may just have played with a doll or two when they were boys.

From my own life experience: I have a son who is nearing 18 years old. He played with dolls with his sister but usually used them in his cars for people. He got a GI Joe one time in school for a Xmas present in class and he asked his sister to marry her Barbie to GI Joe. He also played with a kitchen center, tried on his sister's shoes (sis is 7 years older), asked me for a squirt of my perfume he called smell goods and other things. As for another generation in my family as I had no brothers, my father played with dolls and he turned out just fine just like my son turned out fine.

I endorse all kids to use all sorts of toys.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms