Boys Stepmom doing all she can to distroy our relationship.

Stefany - posted on 04/10/2016 ( 22 moms have responded )

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My Ex and I divorced three years ago, both of us have remarried. However his wife hates me, she gets my boys to lie about me. This has gone so far, that we have been in and out of court. I made the choice to move to where my husband is, and had a agreement on visitation with the Ex. He was suppose to get it though his lawyer to be signed by judge, on moving day she calls me on a phone I had for the boys. She tells me I am abandoning my kids, there was no agreement and then dumps the phone. Now I have to wait on my ex to talk to my son on his phone. An emergency hearing is in place to get the visitation, and I have already moved. I been trying to get the drama to stop but she keeps creating new drama. What can I do to get her to stop and start getting a stable life for my kids?

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Lisa - posted on 04/12/2016

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I am so sorry that you are going through this. No advice, really, just encouragement to let you know that as the kids get older, they see through things. The truth will always be revealed - even if it takes years. Better days ahead ....

Sarah - posted on 04/11/2016

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Just have as much documentation to prove she is lying as you can possible obtain. Until she is proven a liar, her word will be taken at face value

Sarah - posted on 04/11/2016

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I agree, document everything. If you still have the receipts for the phones she discarded, you can show that you had a method to reach your kids and vice versa.

Ev - posted on 04/11/2016

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Then you need to document every time you call his phone when you call to talk to the boys as well as any other time you try to make contact not made via the phone.

Jodi - posted on 04/11/2016

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Mary Ann, I'm pretty sure she said she is trying to contact her boys on a phone she provided to them. I didn't see anywhere where she is required to talk to the new wife as a point of contact....or did I miss it?

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Jodi - posted on 04/11/2016

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Good. Hopefully you can get court orders that will sort this out for you.

Stefany - posted on 04/11/2016

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This way she can't skip being there and will have to answer on why she is doing all those hateful things

Ev - posted on 04/11/2016

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Even still, a judge can clear the court of people he or she does not want in there to start with. But if you think you can have her brought in as a witness to things...go for it.

Stefany - posted on 04/11/2016

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When summoned, you can't be in the courtroom till its your turn at the stand. This way she has to appear in case a testimony is needed and keeps her out of the courtroom while in court.

Stefany - posted on 04/11/2016

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Oh I am going to supina her, that way she can get caught lying in front of the judge, and not be in court room

Ev - posted on 04/11/2016

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When you do go to court you could ask that she not be allowed in the court room to also keep the drama down to a minimum.

Stefany - posted on 04/11/2016

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no, he tried to make her the contact, but it got so bad, she start fights in front of the boys. there is a cout order where she can not contact me unless emergency and they have broken it. I bought a phone for the boys which my es and I agreed. She took the phone called me and stated it was not agreed and dumped the phone. Now I can only get a hold of the kids through his phone. He is not letting me talk to the boys now, they are trying to get me on abandonment. They have been trying to get me to lose my rights, I been through court ordered drug test, DHS was involved and found nothing. I am at fault for my additude, but mostly she started by they way she speaks to me.

MaryAnn - posted on 04/10/2016

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Woah. You dont want to communicate with her, but expect her to be a way you can speak to your children? I'm seeing drama going both ways. Dont contact her. He cant make her be your point of contact if you only answer the phone for him. You cant expect her to be point of contact ONLY when you want her to. She is not a mind reader.

Stefany - posted on 04/10/2016

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How sad that is true, she is the drama creating type. Irs why I moved, it was causing harm to my boys. Very heart breaking.

Jodi - posted on 04/10/2016

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Ah, ok. I don't think there is much you can do until you have court orders spelling everything out properly. At this point, unless he is violating the original court order, there's not much you can do. It also sounds like, in future, you follow court orders to the absolute letter, and if you want to change it, get it changed properly. This sounds like the only way you are going to keep this woman from her drama.

Stefany - posted on 04/10/2016

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Share joint custody week exchange visitation. The verbal agreement was he has during school year and I during breaks. But he broke it, going to court end of month

Jodi - posted on 04/10/2016

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So he has primary custody? And you have court ordered visitation? I'm just trying to figure out what your current court order states about custody and visitation.

Stefany - posted on 04/10/2016

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There is a court order that only he is allowed to talk to me, in which he has violated and going to court. I had been waiting on the written for two months, but the agreement was done in front of a mediator. I know I should have just gone into legal action and not given him a chance to do the right thing. I been trying to get a hold of my son last two days, they have now cut me off from my son.

Jodi - posted on 04/10/2016

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Stop communicating with her, only communicate with him, and as part of that, request from him that he be the only one to communicate with you, not her. What does your ex say about these things? In particular about the moving agreement?

I would also strongly recommend that you put ALL agreements in writing from now on, and would have recommended you have custody and visitation spelled out in a court ordered agreement anyway - this saves everyone a lot of grief in the long run.

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