Break-up! Do u split the kids??

Camielia - posted on 01/28/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My ex is suggestin that we seperate the two children as he thinks that our son should stay with him and our daughter should stay with me. Im not sure how i feel about this? I know my daughter would be better of with me and possibly unhappy with her father but dont know if shell be unhappier if we split them?!

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Michelle - posted on 01/29/2014

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I agree with Jodi: Co parenting is the best way to go. No parent has to be the every 2nd weekend parent. I have done shared care with my 2 oldest children for 9 years. They have grown into wonderful caring young men. Children need both parents around and if the parents can't live together they need to put aside their feeling and think about the children.
Splitting up the children isn't in the children's best interests at all. Surely if he was thinking of splitting them then shared care could work.
Get yourself a good lawyer and fight for them, you don't have to just go along with what your ex says.

Ev - posted on 01/29/2014

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Camielia-Jody is right...you do not have to be the every second weekend mother. And it frustrates me period no matter if I know the kids or not. I have seen so many kids be put in the middle of their parents and the parents' wants or desires. It became about the parents. I am advocating for the kids. Fight for them dang it! I had to fight differently for mine. And in the end, we have a very stable and trusting relationship between us. Do not allow him to force your hand. If you can fight to have joint custody and even have them every other week for the week...that is better than what I have had.

Jodi - posted on 01/28/2014

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Why do you have to be an every second weekend mother? Why can't you have joint custody?

Camielia - posted on 01/28/2014

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What are you frustrated about it aint your kids? How do you think i feel i am very frustrated about this whole situation with my kids and ex. I always thought that they should stay together it was my ex that suggested in then he made me second guess my gut feeling. Well they both going to be staying with him now feel useless as a every second weekend mother!!!

Ev - posted on 01/28/2014

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It was not an attack. It was an opinion and a frustrated one. I am a divorced mom of two kids. They did not ask for it either but I did not split them up either. There is a 7 year age gap and they were close then and are still now. I just think that its selfish of people (adults) to think that this kind of thing is a good idea at all. And I would ask again, who in their right mind would think of things like this? It does not matter the ages of the kids and this young, if separated after having been used to being together, it would hurt them more than anything else.

Camielia - posted on 01/28/2014

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Woah settle down was asking for some advice not an attack evelyn witt! It was my ex's idea and he himself said tht he doesnt think our daughter will be happy. Ad as for other comments no we havent asked them because they are 3 and 5!!!

Ev - posted on 01/28/2014

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Who in their right mind would separate kids who are siblings no matter their age ranges? Why would you want to? So far in their lives they have grown up together and separation from each other would only hurt them more on top of their whole world of having mom and dad with them in one home. Isn't that enough? They are suffering the most here because they had no say or choice in the matter to begin with! I think splitting the kids up is more for the adults than the kids at this point. And who is to say your daughter would not do well with her father? Dad might surprise you!

Shawnn is right; the kids are going to need you both. You need to set up primary custody, visitation, and child support. The judge will not separate the kids unless them being together is dangerous or something.

Kids need each other in a break up of the family like this. They are each others support system. Why would you want to break that?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/28/2014

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Have either of you taken into consideration which parent the kids want to live with for main custody?

Best solution: SHARE custody of both kids equally. CO PARENT your kids with your ex.

Jodi - posted on 01/28/2014

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Uh, no. Children need both parents. If you want to share custody, share both of them.

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