Break up with boyfriend

April - posted on 01/19/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm confused; my boyfriend of 9 months recently broke up with me due to my so called insecurities. He hasn't talked much to me or my 13 yr old daughter in the past week. He used to text her and call her often and would tell her daily how much he loves n cares for her as his own little girl, then the past 2 weeks he was very distant from her and me. Now, almost 2 weeks after the break up, he says he wants to continue to be apart of my daughters life because he loves her n cares for her a lot and he tells me she should be his daughter. He said last night for me to not keep her from him that he wants to take care of her forever, he sad she knows he loves her and cares for her thats why she trusts him (her real father is not there for her always) my daughter does adore my ex very much. I am confused as to how he can be distant from me but wants to continue to care for my daughter and be in her life? I feel he may be using her to keep the connection with me; so confused! For the 2 weeks after our break up he seemed like he didn't care for either one of us, and all a sudden he's back to texting my daughter and he called her yesterday, telling her he will always be there for her! Yet I text him last night and he texts me very little then just stops texting! I don't understand; if he wants to be part of her life still, he has to go through me :( so confused.

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Michelle - posted on 01/19/2013

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I'm with Little Miss. The alarm bells were going berserk while I was reading that.

She's 13 so heading into puberty, he's a grown man. If you are no longer together then he shouldn't be contacting your daughter. Like Little Miss said, he was only in your lives for such a short time. If he doesn't want a relationship with you then he doesn't get to have one with your daughter.

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Another - posted on 05/20/2014

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3 out of 3 consistent responses are enough support for the case to NOT allow the guy access to your daughter but I felt the need to add mine too. Time has passed and I hope things are settled and that the guy has moved on because I would never trust him. Not saying there aren't genuine guys out there but just get a bad vibe in this case. Every happiness.

April - posted on 01/19/2013

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Yep just what I thought and is pretty much what I said to him..."your done with me your done with my daughter"! I thought it was strange too...even though he does still somewhat talks to e but its very distant, so it does not make me comfortable. I actually blocked his number from her phone today so he cannot contact her. Thanks guys for your input!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/19/2013

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Whoa...hold up here. TOTALLY innapropriate in my opinion. Sorry, it is a package deal. You have not exactly been together for a long time, and that is great they connected, but once your relationship ended with him, the relationship between your daughter and him ended. I mean, it may be a different scenario if he had been a part of her life for YEARS! If he keeps texting her, think about changing her number, or taking the phone from her. Tell him no he cannot have a separate private relationship with your daughter. The fact that he wants that, worries me and makes me think the worst intentions are there.

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