Breaking Point !

Kelly - posted on 07/31/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I met my boyfriend when I was 16 in 2006. We had an on again off again relationship up until 2009. We found I was pregnant in May of that year. A couple months after we found out, he was sent to jail for 8 months. We had an amazing relationship before and while he was in jail. He got out three days before I gave birth to our son. He was a good father and fiance for about a month and a half. Then, he started hanging out with his old friends, lying to me, cheating on me, and going weeks at a time without seeing his son. I kept going back to him hoping that things would change. Everytime we broke up I would try to hangout with my friends and have some nights out just to forget about him. In November of 2010 he was sent to jail again and I swore I was done with him for good. He stayed in jail for 2 1/2 months and for the first month and a half I kept turning him down everytime he tried to appologize to me and get me back. Finally, I gave in and believed him when he said things would change and he had realized what he was loosing. We've been living together since Jan. of 2011, and we were doing great whenever he first came home. He also stopped doing drugs, hanging out with negative people, and began working a full time job. We found I was pregnant with our second son in march of 2011. We slowly started fighting again and he started breaking the promises he had made to me while he was in jail. He still works and is clean, but it seems like he never wants to spend time with just me or both his son and I. I feel like I'm the main one taking care of our son and he is almost always with his friends. He say that we're ALWAYS together, because we live together, but I don't really count sleeping as hanging out . Also, he says he's just trying to spend as much time with his friends as he can now, because when the baby gets here he knows that he needs to be at home to help me with the kids. Sometimes I feel like he's out cheating on me also, because sometimes he doesn't come home until 1 in the morning on week nights. Whenever we argue he just leaves and doesn't try to talk things out and tells me if I'm unhappy then to leave and find someone that makes me happy. Then, he always appologizes when he gets home from where ever it is that he goes when we fight. What should I do ??? I feel like he should be here for me most right now, especially after all I have done for him and that he just doesn't care anymore !!

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/31/2011

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Sherri is right, very difficult decision, but how much more difficult than if he gets thrown in Jail again, or leaves you for another women?

If you already have a difficult relationship, kids usually make it worse....not better. Kids are a lot of work (as you know) and if you are gonna have a true partnership that helps one another, you can survive. But he just sounds like dead weight.

Can you move to an area that has family to help support your decision? I am not talking about family financially supporting you...you would need to get a job and whatever government support you can get....I am talking about emotional support and possibly someone to watch your child while you work?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/31/2011

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WOW! This is quite a cycle of abuse you have endured. Well, I hate to say it, but why are you with him? He cheats, gets sent to jail.....and both on a regular basis. I guess the real question is, do you want your children raised in this kind of environment? Good that he is keeping a job and not doing drugs. This means he can pay child support and you can be on your way out the door. It does not sound like he has any redeeming qualities, and he is gonna keep treating you like a fool. You need to be on your way. It sounds like you are gonna be doing it alone anyway, it might as well be on your terms.

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Kelly - posted on 08/01/2011

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My main issue is just transportation. Once I find that, I can hold down a steady job and I've looked up some Gov. assistance that will help me pay for daycare and they also provide section 8 housing with a reduced rent (just until I can get a higher paying job). I just need the transportation for a job, so I can get back on my feet !! It's so frustrating !

Stifler's - posted on 07/31/2011

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I agree you need to get out and find out what kind of help you can get with housing, childcare, work, money etc. Don't stay with this clown.

Sherri - posted on 07/31/2011

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Yes that was the kind of family support I was referring too as well not financially just emotionally.

Sherri - posted on 07/31/2011

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I am so sorry. I think you are in a very difficult position especially without any family to support you.

Kelly - posted on 07/31/2011

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@ Sherri: That's so weird, especially since I've never met someone with the same last name , except for family of course. And yes, I agree. I've always told myself things would get better, but everytime they do, it doesn't stay that way for long.

Kelly - posted on 07/31/2011

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@ Mariana : No, I have NO fa,ily support what so ever. And no, I don't want my son to grow up in this situation. We try and make it a point not to srgue in front of him. My fiance says that he think our new son will bring us closer, but I only see it adding more stress to the relationship. I feel like I've been in love with him for so long that I would do anything to make it work, but there are lot's of times I just want to walk away. I've looked for shelters for women with children in my area, but they are pretty much full. Also, I would feel terrible if my boys were taken from me, because I have literally not a dime to my name and no transportation to get to and from work.

Sherri - posted on 07/31/2011

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Honestly if you can I think it is time to say good bye. This is such a tough relationship for the very beginning.

P.S. You kind of freaked me out you have the exact same name as my sister (only difference is this was her maiden name as now she is married) spelt same way and everything.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/31/2011

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Do you have family to help support you in this decision? I really wish you the best of luck, but really you should take a look from the outside, and see what he is doing to you regularly.

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