Breastfeeding at church - Oh, the drama!!!!

Glanedys - posted on 03/04/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )




Hello ladies!!!! I've got a bit of a problem.......

Last week, I attended church for the first time this year with my 4 year old twin girls and my at-the-time 3 week old son. I grew up in this church, and since I was a little girl I have always sat on the front row, which is where I sat that Sunday. So it never crossed my mind to move when I put on my nursing cover and proceeded to feed my son. While I was getting set up, I noticed one of the associate ministers giving me a funny look, but I didn't think much of it. While I was nursing, one of the ushers approached me and asked if I was okay or would I like to move to the back of the church. I told her that I was fine, but thanked her. After service was over, the same usher offered to set up a curtained area in the back of the church for me as some of the men were uncomfortable seeing me nurse out in the open. I once again thanked her, reiterated that I was fine, and went home. My pastor called me a few days later to see how I was doing and to catch up with me on some things we had discussed previously, but no mention of Sunday. I mentioned Sunday's incident to my mother on Saturday night, and she became upset because she thought the usher had a problem with me breastfeeding and was using the men as an excuse. Since I thought the whole thing was no big deal, I told her not to get upset: the usher was only being nice, and the only man who looked at me strangely was the associate minister (but I really thought that could have been for any reason, and was he even really looking at ME?).

This past Sunday, the baby and I stayed home due to me feeling a bit unwell, but I sent my girls to church with my mother. When she came by my house to drop my girls off, she stayed to chat. She asked, when the pastor called me last week, if he said anything about last Sunday. I replied, "No. Why?" It turns out the associate minister WAS looking at me, and his mother approached one of the deaconesses and told her to talk to me because "[I] should know better than to breastfeed on the front row". The deaconess felt that it wasn't her place to say anything to me and asked my aunt to talk to me. My aunt also felt it wasn't her place to say anything to me. The associate minister allegedly called the pastor to complain about me, and the pastor ripped him a new one.

Since the pastor put the associate minister in his place, my mother considers the matter resolved. I, on the other hand, now feel uncomfortable with going back for the time being. I I overreacting???

A few things to add:
1. I was covered the entire time (my preference) so no one saw anything.

2. We are a small church and don't have a nursery/cry room/etc. Also, using the restroom is out of the question (Ew).

3. None of the other mothers breastfeed/fed their babies (this includes their own mothers; all seem "fascinated" that I'm doing so)

4. While I did breastfeed my daughters, I was so self-conscious about doing it in church that I pumped and bottle-fed them, which was a HUGE PITA and caused me to miss the majority of the service (at the time I wondered why bother even coming to church).

Thoughts anyone??? Thanks in advance.


Jodi - posted on 03/04/2015




I'd go back and explain that God made breastmilk the most natural and pure food for babies, and if He isn't offended by the fact that women need to put an infant to their breast to feed them, then surely His servants shouldn't be.

Honestly, what a bunch of idiots.

Trisha - posted on 03/04/2015




My thoughts are that this is the MOST natural of things. And if your pastor tore him a new one, than that means you should should continue. Your actions will cause other members to not be ashamed to breastfeed their children there.

I am atheist, but I think that if your church wants to have you and your children continue to celebrate your faith there then they should embrace the fact that you go to church, even though you know you will need to breastfeed.

If you were comfortable doing it once, you should do it over and over again. Don't let one person's comfort level distract you from providing the basic necessities to your child. You were modest, and there was nothing inappropriate about it. The person who was uncomfortable needs to grow up.


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Dove - posted on 03/05/2015




If the pastor supports you... go and feed your baby and don't worry about it. Let him deal w/ the guy that thinks there is anything in the world wrong w/ what you are doing (sounds like he did already anyway).

I sit in the back at my church (always have), but I breastfed my son w/out a cover (my t-shirt provided enough coverage) EVERY Sunday at church for 2.5 years... not one single person ever said a negative word about it.

If you didn't have the support of the pastor I would suggest finding a new church, but since that is not the case... go and worship and care for your baby. ♥

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/05/2015




BFing is normal. If he/she doesn't like to watch, then he/she should have averted his/her eyes. There is NOTHING wrong with what you are don't let someone make you feel bad for your bodies natural way to feed your baby. They should not be looking. The only people that are going to see will be the people giving the sermon, and the people right next to you. Others will have to be trying to see what you are doing. AND you are fully covered. They need to get over themselves.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/05/2015




Go do your momma thing! Feed your child. If there is any place a women should be able to BF without issues, it should be in church. That is ridiculous and good on your Pastor for sticking up for you! Don't let his tongue lashing to the one complaining be in vain. Don't let that person win.

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