Building son's confidence

Nena - posted on 02/05/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is 9 years old and he is a gentle giant! (5ft tall is definitely in men's size shoes 11). He is a great student, has a great personality (funny, witty) and above all he is very kind hearted! His qualities are also his problem. At school, kids who are much shorter than him seem to be the children that "make the rules" and will "get in his face" and shout at him when they feel he has done something wrong while playing basketball or other games. He is very athletic and instead of standing up for himself he simply walks away holding back tears and/or afraid of getting in trouble by the teacher on yard duty. How can I help my son build his confidence and to stand up for himself against others? I wish he would use his personality that I see at home during school hours. Any ideas?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2014

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2014

He's athletic, right? Get him into wrestling (if he's interested). It will teach him some non-aggressive skills (Headlocks are wonderful tools), and in general give him a feeling that he can stand up for himself without being aggressive about it.

My son's tormentor was all of 4ft flat, and literally a little snot. My son pointed him out to me one day, and I said "You do realize that if you knocked him down and sat on him, he'd probably leave you alone", and giggled. He looked at me, like it hadn't even dawned on him that he was over twice the kid's size, and laughed. The next day I got a call from the principal, telling me he didn't think we'd have to worry about my kid any more. He was laughing so hard he almost couldn't tell me what happened, but the upshot was that the kid shoved my son, so he turned around, grabbed the kid in a headlock, held him until the kid apologized, and then set him on his feet and said "now LEAVE ME ALONE"...and the kid hasn't bothered him since. This was 2 years ago now.

Good luck with your guy!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2014

13,214

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2014

Keep encouraging him. Volunteer at school, speak with teachers, etc regarding the short little shits who seem to have no regard for others.

Raised 2 gentle giants of my own. Currently my 16 yo is 6'5", and gentle ben all the way. He had a very hard time sticking up for himself, but none sticking up for others...we kept working on it, and he's not afraid to stand up for himself now. But it does take a lot of confidence building.

Mainly, his dad & i let him know that, as long as he felt justified in defending himself, we'd back him up with administration if he were to be in trouble for his actions.

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