User - posted on 01/30/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )




just wondered how you tackle bullying.

our daughter who's 4 is being bullied at school. disguting i know at 4/5 yrs old..

i've spoken to another parent who's child is being bullied by the same child/ren. having her hair pulled and tripped over.

daughters behaviour is AWFUL at the moment because of whats going on at school. she doesnt LIKe school anymore , saying its boring and ?? is being nasty to her.

she wont tell me anymore. she just clams up, shuts down and walks away all upset.

i've spoken to the teachers about whats going on. and they seem to brush it under the carpet. she's come home swearing saying she heard the child in question saying it. the teachers say they'll do a whole class talk but nothing happens.

she repeadedly hit her sister the other day. she has got so much anger inside of her. :(

which makes me think theres more going on that she's letting on.

her behaviour is putting so much strain on the family in general and with a newborn baby i'm getting pysically nad now mentally drained and exhausted..... the baby isnt the issue of her behaviour as she's been like this for some time. but i agree baby probably isnt helping the situation! :(

how can i appraoch the situation with her without her getting so upset.? how can i stop her shutting down and get her to talk to me about whats happening.?


Nikki - posted on 01/30/2012




I would have a meeting with the principle and demand that something is done, bullying is not acceptable at any age. Your daughter is possibly scared and angry, so her behaviour is probably a reflection of this. If it were me I would try to be very understanding, say thinks like "I can see you are upset" let her know of she needs to talk that you will be there for her and that you will not get angry with her. Let her know she can trust you. Maybe try spending a bit of time with her doing something fun as well, she may be a little uncertain about the new changes in your family and might need a little reassurance.


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User - posted on 01/30/2012




thanks ladies.

i spoke to the other mum of the child being bullied and said maybe we should tackle the headteacher together. that way something has to get done.

they collared me today, (confusing me with the other girls mum. new teachers etc) well they said that this bully's brother (who's also been picking on this little girl) plays round the corner of the playground so could you just encourage your daughter to stay away from him and play in a different part of the playground!! DO BLOODY WAT!!!! thats YOUR job as a school to keep an eye and not being funny why should she....

i will speak to the other mum tomoz as no doubt she wasnt told as they told me by mistake.

its disgusting. just telling them to go and play somewhere else... erm yeah and thats stopping the bully... its disgusting .

since the old headmaster left the bullying has gone to pot. that was his main HATE was bullys. i remember a group of kids from the school went and trashed a playgroups garden braking toys etc etc one evening/wknd. well when he caught wind of this he MARCHED them down to the playgroup in full on uniform and made them apologise to all the children for breaking their toys..

he didnt once tell them tuff go and play with something else if its broken. this new headteacher is a bit stuck up so i'm not thinking we'll get much from her. but we'll see. x

Emma - posted on 01/30/2012




This happened to my Daughter last year, This horrid little boy was picking on my daughter because she was the youngest and smallest in the class.

We did some assertion roll playing at home,

Me and my hubby acted out what she had described and showed her how to assert her self.

We got her to practice her no voice.

We also talked to the school and found out we where not the only ones who's kids where having issues with this boy.

The whole thing came to a head one afternoon when the boy was hassling my daughter,

The little monster had been talked to so had stooped name calling and hair pulling as to not get in trouble and was now just invading my daughters space by standing over her all the time.

My daughter is tiny she only reaches this kids arm pit.

Well my Daughter found her voice and stood up for herself

According to the playground supervise My Daughter stood up put her arm out to keep him at arms length, and in the most amazing no voice ever, told this boy to "back off out of her personal space now" apparently there was quite a mean look on her little face at the time.

The boy burst into tears and the little monster ran to tell on my daughter, but the supervisor had seen the whole thing as they where paying special attention to him due to the complaints.

I was super proud of my daughter :-) and the boy has never bugged my daughter since.

Christy - posted on 01/30/2012




Can you talk to the other mom(s) with the child/ren being bullied? Maybe if you work as a team you can get something done about it.

I was bullied by a couple of boys in Kindergarten b/c I am diabetic and had to eat more than the other kids and got sweets when my sugars went low. Sad! Then I would cry about it and the bullying got worse.

Maybe you can have her talk to the school counselor to get her to open up more?

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2012




I agree with the other ladies, I think perhaps your daughter doesn't think anyone cares so why tell you again so that you can go back to the teacher and the teacher does nothing. It is a vicious cycle if no one will do anything to help your daughter than go to the next level start with the principal then the district superintendent like Wendy's daughter my son was bullied when he was 6 by a much bigger 8 year old for about half a year the teachers kept telling him to walk away or tell the kid to stop being mean. As you well know these tactics do not stop a bully my son finally got mad a beat the snot out of the kid I warned the school that my son could only control his anger for so long as he has ADHD with aggressive tendencies but they didn't believe me. I went as far as speaking to the superintendent of our school district to say that if my child lashes out it will be because no one took the situation seriously. They tried to suspend my child but the superintendent did not allow it because he deemed the school had failed to protect my child from abuse. We ended up switching to a new school the following year where there were more kids like my son as he is a dancer and not into sports which was why he was getting picked on. So don't stop keeping climbing that ladder until you find someone who will help your daughter with this matter.

Wendy - posted on 01/30/2012




I would walk right into principal office and demand something is done ASAP The school is supposed to provide a SAFE learning enviroment for our kids, and they are not if this is going on....I would say your daughter is shuttind down probibly beacuse she feels nobody is doing anything to protect her....My older daughter would have....My younger daughter did not shut down in grade 6 she told me all the time,and teachers,and principal. The child was known by all teachers that this was happening. One day my daughter had enough he took her book one to many times and threw it at her then pulled her chair out. She with the pencil in her hand she punched him 3 times in upper arm leaving a hole or 2 and blood......He never touched her again or came neer her. She served a 2 day suspention for violance.......after when we talked she said she did not trust school anymore to protect her with things like this....how sad....I as her parent knew she would end up doing it, i even warned the school she would, she is not the kind of kid that will take much bullying she will fight back (yes i discuraged her from doing so) I wanted to believe the school would protect her from this kind of bullying in todays 0 tollerance. I hope my story helps you to deal with this isue for your daughter, you are her voice mum don't be quiet about it when you go see the principal....Good luck

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