But you don't look sick?

Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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hello everyone, i just want to know how you explain to someone that your sick, even though you dont look sick, but you are, inside is where your sick, ive been struggling with depression for the past few years, i also have a large folder with my name on it at the doctors office, in general ive had a lot of health problems, but nothing was ever done about it, most doctors thought it was in my head when i went to them with aches and pains, and sleepless night, or exchausting days that seem to drag on and on, recently ive had a hard time to even open my eyes when im soppossed to get up in the morning to start my day with my son, my fiance has, in the past tryed to understand, but recently doesnt seem to get the big picture, that i just dont have the energy to do anything, the past few days ive been in a massive amount of pain, my teeth are really bad and i cant afford dental inssurance, so the pain continures up the side of my face and into my ear and temple, i just dont know how to explain to him that i need him to be home more than at work, also i forgot to mention were both self-employed, how do you explain to someone that your sick and not feeling well, when you look completely fine?

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Do you see a therapist? I know what you're going through, I have fibromyalgia. You would never know unless I told you. Even doctors have trouble understanding the pain so it's hard to explain it to my husband sometimes. Anyway, if you see a therapist about your depression, I would suggest asking your fiance to come to a few sessions with you. Him observing you talking to your therapist about your depression might help your fiance understand what you're going through. You may even be able to include him in the session, getting him to talk about how he feels about what you're going through. You might find out that it's not that he doesn't understand what you're going through, but that he doesn't know how to help you which is making him feel inadequate or helpless. Men express themselves differently than women. They are "fixers" by nature. When something is wrong (car trouble, leaky pipe, etc.) they want to fix it. So if he sees that there is something wrong with you and he can't fix it, he might lash out (the same way he might curse at the lawn mower that doesn't want to start). It sounds silly, but that's how men operate. Good luck and I hope you find peace soon. :)

Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2011

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thank you so much amy, you are truly a nice person, and the fact that u understand what im going through makes it much better, its great to see that im not the only one who goes through this, sometimes i feel so alone and isolated, and today just seems to be getting worse, but thank you :)

Amy - posted on 09/06/2011

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I totally understand I have MS you cant see it but it is there and there are days where I am in so much pain or my limbs wont work at all and the fatigue is so bad that I could lay down and sleep all day then sleep all night too that is everyday the pain and the limbs not working is not it is sometimes or the headaches I am bipolar on top of it all as well so I truely understand. hang in there and sit down with him and openly explain your concerns and tell him you need his support now more then ever also go and find another Dr who will listen there might be something else that is wrong. seriously I wish you the best take care and good luck you are in my prayers!

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