Buying your ex a Christmas gift from the kids? Good - Bad - Indifferent

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

What are your thoughts on buying your ex a Christmas present from the kids after you are remarried? I think it is a bad gesture and shows a lack of boundaries. I encouraged the kids to make a gift, but I will not buy the gift. I think it teaches the kids that Christmas is not about the gift as much as the thoughtfulness. I struggle with the whole concept of needing to buy a gift for someone who I am no longer in a relationship with. I think it is now the responsibility of the new partner of my ex to make sure a gift is purchased for the kids to give. Thoughts?


Amy - posted on 12/16/2014




It's a nice gesture, I asked my son if we needed to get his father something be said his grandmother already bought him something for them to give him. If she hadn't I would of, it's from the kids not me and right now I'm the one financially responsible for them.

Jodi - posted on 12/16/2014




I'm sorry, I'm not seeing how it is showing a lack of boundaries. There is nothing wrong with taking the children out to choose something for their other parent, and pay for it. I used to do it all the time, or I at least took him shopping to make the purchase with his allowance once he had one.

When it comes down to it, YOU are the parent. So stop being so petty at a time of year the children take such pride in the gift they make a choice to give to the other parent. Keep in mind that just because you are paying for it, it is not YOUR gift to your ex, it is the gift your CHILDREN are giving your ex.

Dove - posted on 12/16/2014




If the kids are picking it out and you are just paying for it... there is nothing in the world wrong w/ it. Do you HAVE to? No, of course not... but if the kids want to get their parent something and don't have the financial means to do so... suck it up and deal w/ it. YOU are the other parent to those children... not her spouse.


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