c section envy

User - posted on 12/14/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )




has anyone like me had the feeling when some women who have given birth naturally talk to c section mummys their aggresive and put down comments are just pure jelousy! they feel why should they have had to go through the pain stretches tears and emotional scars when us girls who choose to have c sections know when and where are babies will be born with a practically pain free peacfull and beautiful birth. as i tell some women i had a planned c section for no medical reason i can see there face wrinkle and amost go green in envy. its deffnatly an acheivenment to give birth natrally and welldone to those who do but its not wrong to bring life into the world the way that is best for you and your baby and that for me is c sections :)


Krista - posted on 12/14/2010




It's not wrong to give birth via elective c-section, but that wrinkling of the face that you see is probably some of those women being utterly perplexed that you would put yourself through major abdominal surgery if it wasn't medically necessary.

Firebird - posted on 12/15/2010




C-section envy? You're joking right? I can't help but assume that you're still quite young. That wrinkled look is probably absolute confusion. That green colour in their face is probably brought on by nausea due to the thought of having a major surgery without any medical reason. I'm not envious of anyone who's had a c-section. Quite the opposite actually. I could go on and on but I'll end up getting quite rude. So I'm going to finish up by saying: rest assured, it is NOT envy. If we wanted to be hacked open for no good reason, that option was available to us as well.

[deleted account]

Well if the end result was a healthy baby, then so be it. If the OP chose an elective c-section then that is strictly her business. A majority of us wouldn't even consider an elective c-section as a first choice of birth. But to the OP, to make the claim that many women are jealous and envious of a non-medical planned C-section is clearly delusional, IMO. So please return to this thread and clarify exactly what you mean. WHAT is there to be envious of?

Caitlin - posted on 12/15/2010




Renae.. you may want to research a bit. A c-section DOES have more complications and it IS a major surgery,,

"As with all types of abdominal surgery, a Caesarean section is associated with risks of post-operative adhesions, incisional hernias (which may require surgical correction) and wound infections.[24] If a Caesarean is performed under emergency situations, the risk of the surgery may be increased due to a number of factors. The patient's stomach may not be empty, increasing the anaesthesia risk.[27] Other risks include severe blood loss (which may require a blood transfusion) and post spinal headaches.["

"Women who delivered their first child by Caesarean delivery had increased risks for malpresentation, placenta previa, antepartum hemorrhage, placenta accreta, prolonged labor, uterine rupture, preterm birth, low birth weight, and stillbirth in their second delivery"

"This list covers the most commonly discussed risks to the child. Some risks are rare, and as with most medical procedures the likelihood of any risk is highly dependant on individual factors such as whether other pregnancy complications exist, whether the operation is planned or done as an emergency measure, and how and where it is performed.
Neonatal depression: babies may have an adverse reaction to the anesthesia given to the mother, causing a period of inactivity or sluggishness after delivery.[24]
Fetal injury: injury may occur to the baby during uterine incision and extraction.[24]
Breathing problems: babies born by Caesarean section, even at full term, are more likely to have breathing problems than are babies who are delivered vaginally.[30]
Potential for early delivery and complications: One study found an increased risk of complications if a repeat elective Caesarean section is performed even a few days before the recommended 39 weeks.[31]

"Due to extended hospital stays, both the mother and child are at risk for developing a hospital-borne infection.[24]
Studies have shown that mothers who have their babies by caesarean take longer to first interact with their child when compared with mothers who had their babies vaginally.[

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesarean_s...

Renae - posted on 12/15/2010




I also had a planned c-section by choice. I dont think I have ever experienced jealousy, I get more a feeling that they are disgusted by my choice and they totally dont understand it. I see it completely differently to everyone else I know, I dont know why they would choose to go through natural birth and they dont understand why I would choose a c-section. We just have to agree to disagree. I find most people grossly misinformed and they think c-sections are a very dangerous operation, mostly because the statistics they read are mainly made up of emergency c-sections when there are all sorts of other factors or medical complications arising before the actual surgery.

I would not have had it any other way. I haven't read any of the responses to this thread, but I guarantee there are heaps telling you all the reasons why c-sections are bad and more dangerous than natural birth. If I had a dollar for every time someone threw the words "major abdonimal surgery" at me like they even know what that means! LOL.

So just wanted to say I completely understand where you are coming from in choosing to have a c-section - but I dont think anyone I know was jealous. I do know a lot of people who were forced to have a c-section who were and still are very jealous of my fast recovery. My SIL cried because I was up, showered and dressed walking around in under 24 hours and apparently she was bed ridden for days (god knows why, I thought the pain was minimal).

Good to finally find someone on the same page as me! :)

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

Patricia - posted on 12/15/2010




I sometimes come across mothers who act like that and all I can say is more power to ya sista I opted the easiest quickest way to have my baby and dam glad I did it. Iam a single parent with an extremely busy lifestyle and the thought of labor pains did zero for me! The thought of passing a bowling ball thru my vajayjay absolutley did nothing for me! I scheduled my section and my prescious angel came into the world in 28.6 minutes walah!! wudnt have done it any other way however for those mommies who choose to endure the "iam woman" way of having a baby, great for yall, i'll choose modern day technologies of the medical field and guess what? In the end I have my gorgeous daughter and it is she who makes me more of a woman than I have ever been. The real acheivment is my child, not the way in which she came into the world. Bottom line.... to each his own

Jackie - posted on 12/15/2010




Here is how I see it... Either you're delusional or you have a guilty conscience and you secretly, deep down, wish you would've made a different decision and now you're trying to defend it to he world. Or trying to get some "positive feedback" so you can feel better about yourself. Hey, good luck with that!

C-Section, fine, whatever. IDGAF! Jealous? Hardly. pffft

Dana - posted on 12/15/2010




***Mod warning****

It's great to share your opinion ladies but, let's keep out the name calling or direct attack against the OP's intelligence.

Thanks, Dana ~ WtCoM moderator

Katherine - posted on 12/15/2010




I would not envy that AT ALL. Like others have said that is major surgery. They cut very deep, they move your innards aside to get to the baby ewww!
Then they stuff it all back in. I have heard nothing but horror stories.

Amanda - posted on 12/15/2010




I planned on having my first son naturally, but after my Ultrasound revealed he might already be 10lbs and hearing the complications that can arise from delivering a baby that was his size, I opted for a c-section over inducing. My sister was induced after her water broke before labor had begun and ultimately she ended up needing a c-section. Her recovery was slow and quite painful. I believe that working for almost 24 hours to deliver her daughter then needing major abdominal surgery anyway definitely slowed her recovery. Rather than put my body through the same trauma I scheduled the c-section and was up and moving around the next day (slowly and painfully, but moving) and I was almost back to myself in a week.
I am now 37 weeks pregnant and have again scheduled a c-section. I seriously considered a vbac but because my first son did end up being 9lb 11oz, a vbac can be very dangerous for the second delivery. Your uterus is very stretched and can create windows that will trap the fetus. Of course, this baby is als0 going to be almost 10lbs as well.
I would say my biggest regret for not at least inducing and trying to have my 1st son naturally is that I developed scar tissue. I have had to have an ultrasound every 6 weeks to watch it's growth and how it's effecting the fetus. The scar tissue may mean that the placenta is not attached properly and I may ultimately need a hysterectomy after the birth of this baby. That is a terrifying prospect. To have my options closed because I opted for the first c-section is a painful lesson and one I really hope I will not have to suffer through.
I in no way think less of you for your decision, but I will always wonder if things might not have been different if I'd attempted a natural birth.

Bonnie - posted on 12/15/2010




You know, if anything, I don't think they are going green with envy because they are jealous of you. I think they are going green because they can't believe what you are saying.

Sharon - posted on 12/15/2010




I might be envious if you could spell. But nope. I enjoyed my vaginal births with epidurals and episiotomies.

I don't give a shit if you had a c-section for non medical reasons. But for you to assume everyone is jealous (that is how you really spell it) is just pathetic and I feel so sad for your child. You gave birth to a miracle and its all about you. Not your child, not their safe entrance to the world. Its about how you're better than others. Nice.

Bonnie - posted on 12/15/2010




I don't know who you are talking to, but sorry to break it to you, I don't think that many have c-section envy. Both my kids were born naturally and I am glad they were. I don't want a c-section. I don't want to be put through surgery just to have a baby. With my first child, I went through a terrible experience. I ended up with a 3rd degree tear and I don't know how many stitches. A day later I was in terrible pain. I could barely move. Two days after that, I was finally checked and found out why I was in so much pain. They seemed to have dropped a stitch which caused an infection. I ended up being in the hospital for a week on medication. But I would still rather go through that again rather than have a c-section.

Laura - posted on 12/15/2010




I would make that face if you told me that but it would not be envy. The thought that I may have to have a C-section scares the shit out of me. I would not ever choose to be cut open. And I would fight it til I absolutely had to if my doc wanted to do it.

If you want to do it more power to you but give me my vaginal births any day. More money, more recovery, not being able to hold my older boys for a while, no thank you!!!

Caitlin - posted on 12/15/2010




Wow.. just wow.. I don't know if words can express how WRONG you are about most womens looks..

Vaginal birth for both my girls.. The first I tore horribly and had a forcep delivery, but never once did I wish I had had a c-section during that time.


Amanda - posted on 12/15/2010




Yes I am jealous that woman choose to have their bodys cut wide open. Have the possiblity of ripping those stitchs/staples open weeks after giving birth, when I gave birth to 3 children naturally, and out shopping for new baby clothes 24 hours later. Rolls eyes seriously C section envy? One flew over the cuckoos nest didnt they?

I have no issues with someone choosing to have a C section, but you sure miss out on the most beautiful experience of life. I have nothing but wonderful memorys of my childrens births.

Hayley - posted on 12/15/2010




i think each to there own it's the mothers choice. i had a horrific labour with my daughter lots of complications took me 2 weeks before i could walk normal. i'm due to have another baby in 7 weeks and will try for a natural labour again and see what happens. as far as envy women who have a c section no i don't. but like i said each to there own at the end of the day it's no one else buisness.

Lissa - posted on 12/15/2010




Absolutely no envy here, all three natural, with my last I had him and was home three ours later with my family. Like the other ladies I wouldn't choose major abdominal surgery. If you are happy having c-sections and it works for you nobody should judge you. I agree with one of the other ladies, the look the gave you was far more likely to be sheer confusion as to why you would choose to do that.

Stifler's - posted on 12/14/2010




i thought the op was for real and there may have actually been women who were jealous of others for having a c-section until i heard everyone else's answer which was pretty much the same as mine!!

[deleted account]

I had 3 vaginal births and with my 4th had to have a c-section. I don't envy anyone for choosing that because I know how painful it is after the pain meds stop working, and how useless you feel because you have to rely on a nurse to care for you and your child for the first few days, how painful sex is even after 7 months, and I know how it is painful to give birth naturally but I also know I can respond to my child right away instead of pushing a call button to have a nurse bring me my baby when he's hungry. And did I mention the huge scar. Your funny

Carolyn - posted on 12/14/2010




yeah im sorry i think the OP is a little ridiculous.

emtional scars from giving birth the way our bodies were intended and designed to do ? really ? are you serious ?

im sorry but scalpels and a full surgical team is hardly a peaceful delivery. I would rather be surrounded by my husband, my mom family members and people who love the baby than a ton of latex gloved, suctionning, suturing people being my babies first contact.

i think its aweful to have elective c-sections out of convenience for the mother and doctor. imagine your due date is off , and you rip that baby out of your uterus prematurely ? i beleive in letting a baby come when it is good and ready unless there is medical reason for the safety of the mother and the baby to induce or section.

seriously , giving birth the way nature intended was empowering, exhilarating and the most wonderful experience of my entire life. I forgot all about the pain of the delivery the moment i saw that little boy. I was able to get up and change his diapers, shower, eat, within an hour of delivery.

i didnt have to worry about lifting the carseat and blowing a staple, or my incision getting infected and then being put on meds preventing me from breastfeeding right away.

i guess if your idea of a beautiful birth is not being able to see beyond your neck due to a big blue sheet preventing you and your spouse from seeing your baby be born, well then , i dont know what to say.

Megan - posted on 12/14/2010




I would actually say that they go the other way from envy. I have had two mothers get up in my face about how horrible of a mother I was for not sticking it out and trying again (I had been induced three times, it didn't work, the dr offered me a csection and I took it gratefully). I have found that I am actually getting a lot of pressure to have a vbac rather than a second csection (if I ever get pregnant again).

Jodi - posted on 12/14/2010




Oh yeah, I'm just so jealous.....all that emotional pain and my vagina stretching......

Geebus, you really believe that? LMAO!!!!

Ez - posted on 12/14/2010




C-section envy? Gimme a break...
You had the right to choose an elective c-section, but you can bet your ass I am anything but jealous. I think it's insane.

Lise - posted on 12/14/2010




My biggest fear was a c-section. I wouldn't envy anyone having a c-section. I also haven't heard anyone say they have emotional scars from giving birth. It sounds like your putting your fears and issues with giving birth on other people, and calling it jelousy.

Charlie - posted on 12/14/2010




Um yeah I cried my eyes out when the doctor told me I might have to have a C section , there is no way I wanted to be sliced open and my baby pulled out through the stomach yeeesh ! Envy ? I think not , give me a natural birth any day , plus I had no tears or stitches .

There is no emotional scarring from giving birth naturally in fact the pain and the amount of work that went into pushing the baby out was empowering , I'm really proud of giving birth .

[deleted account]

Personally, I'm jealous of those that were able to birth their babies vaginally. My c-section was not so much fun. I'm trying for a VBAC this time. But whatever floats your boat. If c-section works for you, then great. I really mean that! But I think your assumptions that people are jealous of your c-section is very far reaching.

Jocelyn - posted on 12/14/2010




I didn't read the replies before, but YAY @ Kate! Great minds think alike lol.

Jocelyn - posted on 12/14/2010




No envy here. I'd rather not have my uterus cut open and my baby ripped out thankyouverymuch.

[deleted account]

yeah, I dunno about some of those ideas, and I've had both a C-section (no by choice) and a natural delivery (VBAC).

1. Giving birth etiher way in an achievement - why put one on a higher pedestal?

2. Both can have good or bad recovery outcomes - for me, and I believe for many, the C-section recovery was far harder than a well managed natural delivery.

3. What emotional scars are you imagining with a natural birth?

4. Did you realy have no pain or scars from your C-section? If so I wanna know the name of your doctor!

Congratulations on the beautiful birth of your baby, I'm sure both you and your doctor were fully informed and are thrilled with the outcome. There will always be people who are agressively critical of all aspects of other's parenting - that's just part of the course. (Turns out my actual kids are WAY worse than many people's hypothetical kids! )

Nikki - posted on 12/14/2010




Um no envy here, just surprised that people still have elective c sections :/ Give me a natural birth any day!

Morgan - posted on 12/14/2010




I had a 3rd degree tear with my daughter and had to have 33 stiches I was in the hospital for 6 days after she was born, far longer than you stay if you have a csection but I dont regret it at all!!!!! I am proud of myself for being able to give birth naturally even if it hurt like hell for almost two months and I could not sit without my rubber dounut :)
where I live I dont think you can "request" a csection because really its for emergancys only.

Medic - posted on 12/14/2010




Why on earth would someone have C-section envy??? I would in NO way want to be cut open and gutted...I gave birth naturally both times and it was relatively pain free and I have no emotional or physical scarring, so I fail to see where the jealousy stems from. I was up and walking just fine hours after each birth, had no wounds to care for and was able to enjoy my child from the get go.

Kate CP - posted on 12/14/2010




I'm not envious of having some one cut me open and rip a baby out of my uterus. I think it's stupid to have a c-section for no reason. It's major abdominal surgery and a huge risk for infection.

But hey, whatever floats yer boat.

[deleted account]

I didn't want a c-section. Yeah, I was a bit afraid of the labor and pain stuff, but I would've preferred being able to give birth vaginally. I was devastated when I was advised to have a c-section (semi-emergency), but in the end all that mattered was getting my girls out safely. Repeat c-section... I would and did plan (though I also didn't really have a choice), but never an original one unless it was medically necessary and I wouldn't feel 'envy' towards anyone that did.

Tammy - posted on 12/14/2010




C section envy? Probably not. I have to agree with Krista E here. I dont have anything against c-sections if it is medically necessary, but definetly feel that giving birth naturally is the way to go- it benefits both baby and mother in regards to helping contract the uterus after giving birth, recovery time is quicker etc.

Kristen - posted on 12/14/2010




I had an emergency c-section with my first and so I had to have planned c-sections with my last 2. I could not do a VBAC because my pregnancies were to close together. I hate that I couldnt give birth naturally. I will never understand why someone would choose to have a c-section. I thought it was horrible! I actually envied the ladies I shared a room with who were up and about right after they gave birth naturally. I would never judge anyone for choosing to have a c-section but I dont think that they are any easier or less painful then a natural birth.

Stifler's - posted on 12/14/2010




i don't have c-section envy. i remember wanting to have an elective c-section at some point because i thought it would be easier but then i went to childbirth education classes and they explained that it's actually a major abdominal operation and giving birth naturally you recover much quicker. i gave birth naturally with no tears or emotional scars and all the women i know who had c-sections would have rathered go natural and hated the pain and scar of recovering from an emergency c-section and are now begging for VBACs with their next baby.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms