Calling to all mothers!!!! 17 and doing my best at this situation!!!!

Kimberlie - posted on 07/03/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

5

0

0

My son's father and i met at the movies and i lied about my age to him telling him i was 18 and he told me he was 19. two weeks went by and i finally told him my real age i was 13 and he still stuck around. As a year goes by we found out that were going to be parents. Well i still havent met any of his family and i'm starting to feel like he's hiding something. i found out that he is actually 32 with three other kids and currently in a divorce. The last time he actually spent/ seen his son was when Samual was six months old. I went and got him for child support because the two years of samual's life he hasnt helped with any cost for samual or anything. His first payment for child support was 15 of that month and i found out that he didnt pay. So now there is a warrant out for his arrest. He text me the next day this all happened and said if u wanna play your games then i'm getting a lawyer and taking samual from you. i'm flipping out!!! i've supported my son for a whole year but had to quit cuz my grades were bad. My mom and dad are helping me til i get out of school and through with college. I will be a senior this year. I have a great relationship with my son, he calls my dad, his grandpa, his dadda. i have no clue what to do!!! i dont want my son taking from me cuz i know it would tear his lil heart apart. I've been there for him 24/7!!!! please help me!!!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dove - posted on 07/03/2012

11,761

0

1349

If you have a court order and he takes off with him... he will go to jail for kidnapping. You can't speculate motives in court. All you can do is go with what you can prove. Him knowing the age difference, not being around so far, the warrant for his arrest, if his current wife is STILL popping pills (PAST drug use of a spouse 'probably' won't help, especially if he currently has custody of 2 of his kids).... these are things that can help you. The difference in states probably won't help except for the fact that if he IS going to get visitations... there should be an introductory period for your son to get used to him first.

Dove - posted on 07/03/2012

11,761

0

1349

Oh... and knowingly having sex with a 13 year old automatically makes him scum in my book, so good luck!

Dove - posted on 07/03/2012

11,761

0

1349

Unless he can prove that you're unfit the court won't take your son away from you. Regardless of circumstances your son has a right to know his father though, so if HE is not a threat to your son he will and should have visitation rights.

Why is it that you don't trust him with his son? Is it just that he hasn't been around and you are worried that he will try and keep your son? That's what you get a court order detailing visitation for... if he violates the court order and tries to keep your son when it's not 'his' time he can be prosecuted for kidnapping.

Krista - posted on 07/03/2012

12,562

16

847

That person is wrong. You TOLD him about your age after the fact and he still stuck around. So he was 32, knowingly having sex with a minor. Even if you can't take him to court specifically on that, it's something that should absolutely be mentioned if the custody battle does go to court -- it'll speak to his character.

Honestly, I think he's just trying to intimidate you. Men like that, they're not interested in having full custody of a baby. That's the LAST thing he wants. He just wants to scare you so that you won't chase him for child support. Don't give up. Get a good lawyer, tell them everything, and if you can, enroll in some home classes so that you can show the judge that you ARE working to better your situation and provide your son with a good life. As well, note down everything you can about your history with him. Dates, events, when he last saw your son. How you met, when you told him your age, how much longer you were together after that. Log EVERYTHING down.

Determined - posted on 07/03/2012

343

1

81

In order to get supervised visitation you would have to prove that he dangerous and unfit to be alone with Samual.

14 Comments

View replies by

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2012

1,258

14

164

He can't take him from you. If he had sex with you and you were only 13 or 14 at best, and he is 32, he can be (and should be) charged with statutory rape and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He is a pedophile. He shouldn't be around any children, and I think most judges would agree.

Dove - posted on 07/03/2012

11,761

0

1349

Just a few visitations set up close to where you live, so that your son can get to know his father before his father takes him out of state. You can/should request this since the judge might not automatically give it.

How long has it been since your son has seen his father? From your posting it sounds about 3 years?

User - posted on 07/03/2012

2

0

0

i dont really want my son to cross into kansas because i have people telling me that he can take off with him.

User - posted on 07/03/2012

2

0

0

The reason i dont want him alone with my son is cuz one this new girl he is married to use to pop pills and he has custody of his younger two kids cuz his oldest was smoking weed in front of them. He lives in atchison ks and i live in st joe mo. I agree with ya know my son knowing his father but then if he dont want to help out and just wants my son becuz he knows it will kill me i dont think he dont deserve to have him. And yea after i found out about his age and finding out his oldest son is as old as me, i felt nasty.

Kimberlie - posted on 07/03/2012

5

0

0

Well we tried but the person said that since i lied about my age that considered me an adult and they cant do nothing to him.

Louise - posted on 07/03/2012

5,429

69

2321

He has to have cause to remove a child from a loving mother. If you are taking drugs, have mental issues or drink problem then you have cause for alarm. If not, chill there is not a judge in the land that would take a child from a mother when she has done a good job to raise him. He is lucky really that your parents have not prosecuted him for statutory rape as you were a minor and having sex with a man old enough to know better! If he wants to play dirty, get a lawyer and fight back. Believe me he wont want to be prosecuted for rape of a minor because if he gets found guilty he will go through absolute hell in jail!

Kimberlie - posted on 07/03/2012

5

0

0

If he gets visitations how can i get them where they are supervised. Cuz honestly i dont trust him with Samual and i know Samual wont go with him anywhere alone.

Determined - posted on 07/03/2012

343

1

81

Relax he cannot take Samual from you unless he can prove that you're unfit. However, he might get visitations if he agrees to start paying the child support. The court will look at the fact that he hasn't been involved and deem you as the primary caregiver. Hope this eased your mind a little bit hun.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms