Can an abusive exboyfriend change?

Tina - posted on 02/11/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello,

I am new to circle of moms. I have been a single mom for the past 9 years. I broke up with my ex boyfriend over 9 years ago because he didn't want to have anything to do w my pregnancy. He denied it being his child. I was a 19 year old soon to be mom. He has been abusive in the past and obsessed over me. I would like to move on with my life but its a nightmare from the past that just wont go away. I have tried numerous times to get a protective order and somehow he ends up getting it dismissed with his big shot attorneys. The system doesn't value single hard working moms. He has never once shown any interest in providing or being there for my son. Now years later finds out I'm doing good for a single mom and decides to take me to court to take full custody. I'm afraid to be near him and he knows how to manipulate the system as a former officer. He makes me feel hopeless. :(

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/11/2015

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Also, get yourself some counseling to deal with his abuse, and help you get through this.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/11/2015

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What a great guy. Get yourself a great lawyer and bury him.

Raye - posted on 02/11/2015

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An abusive person can change, but it's not likely. They usually need to have some major event happen to get them to want to change. Otherwise, no, they don't change. It's been my personal experience that abusive military or police do not change.

You have to be strong, and do everything you can do for your child. It's not guaranteed that he will get custody of your son. Try to be calm and respectful in court. Show that you are providing a stable household for your child. If you can get a lawyer to help you, you should so that you're less likely to be bullied by him. Stay strong and have faith in yourself.

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