can anyone give me some advice on how 2 get my 2yr old daughter to stop using either my ears as a sleeping aid ! need her 2 stop before starting nursery in january ! any advice would be gratefull cheers ! .
Ella - posted on 10/03/2012
Ohh I really don't like the sound of that,yes I agree that it is a habit and really you should have nipt that habit in the bud long befor now and taught your daughter to self sooth but hey we're not super mummy's.........no one is!i dislike the idea of crying it out for that length of time for many reasons.......what if your child is sick?nose bleeding,raised facial blood vessels?all common symptoms of crying aggressively for so long!n that's with out mentioning the emotion damage you could cause,why not leave the cry it out system at little intervals say 10minutes?this is a long time to a 2year old and trust me a tired cranky 2year old won't take forever to learn that mummy will kum tuck me in,give a kiss EVENTUAl...............but in a while,so she will only cause little fuss if nessesry in future once techniqe is working n if after say a week or 2 it's not having any effect then just notch it up t 15 20 mins,whatever u do good luck
Bobbie - posted on 10/03/2012
She finds comfort in touch. It will be difficult for her to not be connected to you. I wonder how this became a habit to begin with. But it is a habit non the less. At 2 she should be self soothing to calm herself for naps and nighttime in her room without mommy. If she is falling to sleep and you are placing her in the bed she has not been able to gradually learned to do this.
The most gentle way would be to tell her, as she is now old enough to comprehend, that she is a big girl and needs to lay down for a nap. Let her cry it out for the time of a standard nap. She will cry, then whimper, doze off and then wake back up to cry and whimper again. She may do this many times during the hour and 1/2 or so that she normally naps. don't go in to check on her. If you do it is actually a taunt to a child to see you and then have you walk back out. If you pick her up you have accomplished only teaching her that she will be required to cry for at least that long next time before expecting you to come in. Children are very dedicated to getting what they think they need. If you let her cry for an hour and go to get her when she is crying ,rather than waiting until she is settled and peaceful, you are setting the bar at one hour. The next time you attempt to lay her down she will be dedicated to screaming louder and crying for the full hour to get you to answer her call. when a child knows that mommy doesn't come in even when I scream they get no reaction from this action and stop and find other ways to sooth themselves.
I watched a specialist do this to a two year old who refused to go to sleep without being rocked by his mother for over an hour. The specialist had a night camera in the bedroom so mom could watch his actions and know he was safe. The little one went through bouts of sheer anger, screams and jumping around. He would then grow quiet to listen for a response from his mother. The specialist was able to keep mom from the room though she cried and said she felt she was tormenting him. The specialist calmed her fears that he was okay and only breaking the habit the kindest way possible. Night number 2 the mom was beside herself with worry and stress. The specialist therefor asked the father to put the child to bed just as they had done the night before. She braced herself for screaming and crying just as he had done the night before. He did start to cry, looked around, listened for his mom to respond and when she didn't he was fully asleep within 30 minutes. The specialist warned her not to ever rock him again at bed time. That she should actually move to sitting in a different chair so she too broke the habit of rocking him.
good luck and please don't look to exchange one soothing item for another. At two she will be very capable of calming herself. Maybe a sippy cup of water.
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