Can anyone please give me some guidance????

Suzanne - posted on 10/30/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Our son is 4 1/2 (will be 5 in Jan) and talks about kissing and being naked to his girl classmates at preschool. He's very smart and curious and has told us that his little friend Sara next door (she's 7) has taught him to play boyfriend and girlfriend and has kissed him. We have told him that he's not allowed to play boyfriend/girlfriend at all with anyone, and that he wasn't allowed to kiss girls until he was a lot older. My husband and I are meeting with the head teacher of his Preschool to talk about this tonight, she says it's normal for kids this age to be curious, but is concerned that the other kids will also act out on this. He also has a 9 yr old cousin (girl) who he said showed him how to kiss. I'm freaking out, how do we handle this???? I told his teacher that other than the neighbor girl and his cousin I couldn't tell you where he is picking this up from. He doesn't watch inappropriate things on tv. Although nothing is sacred anymore and you can't even watch Wheel of Fortune without there being a Cialis for Erectile Dysfuntion commercial coming on tv. Sigh....help?



Suzanne

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Rachel - posted on 10/30/2012

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Other children will see these things (and discuss) them as soon as they can talk. The "talk" used to be much later, but it seems that it needs to be given sooner. This is not to "destroy innocence" - the public will do that regardless. It is to inform your child of the truth. You don't even have to go into extensive detail. You can simply say, "Kissing is something special to be shared between people that are in love - like mommies and daddies. It isn't something you can understand till you are older." About the naked thing: "There are differences between boys and girls. Your is special. That is not meant for others to see or touch. You are not supposed to touch someone's as that belongs to them and they are not supposed to share it." To go even further and ensure they he is not ashamed of his body: "Mommy will always love you no matter what. If someone ever tried to touch your , or get you to touch their you should tell Mommy. You will never be in trouble when you tell Mommy. This is important. If they tell you to keep it a secret, they are bad." Some incorporate religious principles into this. If you try to push it off and say, "When you're older," they will ignore you and talk to friends. Far worse, another adult (very awful type) could want to answer this question and take advantage of their lack of simple knowledge. I'm not trying to scare you, but it does happen.

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Rebecca - posted on 10/30/2012

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Hello Suzanne. I have a 5 year old girl and my son just turned 7. They have a step brother who is 11. Because of him having a girlfriend right now (which is one of the reasons why I am on here to find answers as well) but my kids have been talking about kissing and holding hands with the other genders. I have told my step son that he is not allowed to be talking about kissing or anything else in the house because it is not appropriate for their ages. They need to be kids! Have you talked to the neighbor girls parents about the issue. I know it is hard and sometimes could be embarrassing to bring up, but this day and age there is no telling what they hear at school. When my son was in kindergarten last year, he came home talking about a girls "area". It shocked me! I talked to the school principal and told him i would rather my child not be around the two little boys that talked that way. He said that he would talk to the boys and call their parents but that it is hard to keep an eye on all children and monitor who they talk with on the playground. I had a long talk with my son and keep up with him by asking questions everyday about what he did at school, asked if he had fun on the playground (who he played with) to kinda get an idea of what kind of conversation he might have been introduced to that day. Hang in there! :)

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