Can dads join in

Tony - posted on 06/09/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Is this for Moms only or can Dads join in too. I have a 16 year old son and I am ready to tell him to leave. My wife and I can't take it anymore. So much negativity in our home because of him. My 17 years old daughter and 11 year old son have to suffer because of him. It has gotten out of control. Lately, it has been physical with him. He has been to counseling many times. He doesn't like to listen, or help out in any way. Fortunately, he doesn't smoke, drink or do drugs. He has ADD and ADHD and takes meds. Even that lately, has become a problem. He takes his meds whenever he feels like it. I tell him to take them and he says "I know". Hours go by and he forgets or just doesn't take them. Video games are more important than taking medicine I guess. It is very disappointing and sad that families have to go through this kind of stuff. We raise our children hoping for the best and sometimes it seems it is for the worse. Thank you for listening! If this is for Moms only I understand. Thank you.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/10/2014

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Hey, here's an idea: When you tell him "take your meds", do it by handing him the pills and a glass of water. If he refuses, he loses. He loses video games, he loses computer access...

In other words, take back control. Stop allowing your kid to dictate terms to YOU. YOU dictate and enforce terms for HIM.

I'd start with removing the gaming systems completely. When he wants to cooperate and act his age by managing his conditions and taking care of his responsibilities, give it back, but again, with conditions that you enforce. Conditions such as limited gaming time (2 hours a night), etc.

NO TEEN LIKES TO LISTEN, but they don't have a choice. They're not adults, and are not ready to make adult decisions. Until then, parents have to step up and be parents, and enforcers when necessary.

Alyssa - posted on 06/09/2014

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I think it is for moms primarily, but hey, why can't dads be concerned about their children and seek guidance? I say, good for you. I say boundaries. and follow through! if you threaten him with something you have to follow-through. If you say that he has to do the dishes or he doesn't get his video games, and he doesn't do the dishes take the x box away. He needs to know that there are consequences to his actions.

Also, if it gets physical in a way that threatens the physical well-being of other members of the family then don't be afraid to call the police.

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Tony - posted on 06/10/2014

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That is good advice and I appreciate your kindness. It is amazing, how one child can just tear a family apart. We have a loving family, with my 17 year old daughter, my 11 year old son and then there is my 16 year old son. Unfortunately, my 16 year old just insists on ruining any chance of fun we may have, when we are together as a family. My wife and I pray daily for him, hoping that he will mature and move out of this ridiculous stage. Time will tell I guess, until then we will keep doing our best. Thank you for your thoughts and kindness. I really do appreciate your kind words. Good to know we are not alone on this topic. Thank you...

Tony - posted on 06/10/2014

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Thank you for your advice, I appreciate the feedback. Sometimes I would bring his meds and drink to his room, so that he would take them. After a while though, I thought hey, this child is 16 years old. He should be getting his own meds and drink. Why am I enabling him. Anyway, I appreciate your thoughts. Every day is a new day, to start fresh and try and better ourselves. I can only pray, that my son will mature and grow out of this stage in his life. This is a wonderful group to share thoughts and feelings. Thank you for your kindness.

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