can he change....

Heather - posted on 03/01/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Although my story is different, it is the same....
I love my husband so much, but in turn he loves his addiction to cocaine more...., and its breaking my heart. I had lived apart from him, I knew that I didn't want a divorce, I wanted this to work...
He had lived in our house, and I had moved out with our child, (although i returned home 5 months ago). We have been together for sixteen years, married for fourteen... There had been times throughout these years he had been physically abusive, but as of the last year or so he has not...
He had told me before I came home he was no longer doing drugs, he wanted his family home...., I took it, hook, line, and sinker. (Here is where my story is, as i would like to think.. 'different'), my husband does not disappear for days on end, he does not steal money or objects from our home, and he does work..., but his addiction is as such, out of the past seven days.. five of them he has used... he claims its because his job slows down in the winter so he enjoys' relaxing'. I, on the other hand am ready to call it a lost cause..., He is nice and loving... WHEN HE IS HIGH, BUT, VERBALLY ABUSIVE AND MEAN WHEN HE IS NOT!! The fighting and arguments are having a negative impact on my 12 year old, her grades are dropping and she said she is ALWAYS STRESSED LIVING BACK HERE. THIS BREAKS MY HEART!! He claims she is just saying that to manipulate things so she can get her way..... I am SO TORN... MY OVERALL JOB IS TO BE A MOTHER... But, could he be right, with his comments that his cocaine useisnt hurting anyone but me because i do not agree with it... (although one night when he was high, i sat down and read ALL of the health risks from this drug..., while he was high he said he needed to 'slow' down,) but he has been high every night since. Do I pack up and call for divorce..., do i hope and continue to pray he stops? Regardless of anything, i will continue to pray!


Dove - posted on 03/01/2014




You and your child NEED to get out of that house asap. Can he change? Sure... if he wants to, but HE has to make that choice and until he does you are putting you and your daughter in a horrible situation. I'm not saying divorce is the answer. It may be, it may not be, but until he can be 100% clean... Your child needs to be out of that house where she feels safe and can thrive. Be strong! Protect yourself and your child.

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