can I call the shots?

Terri - posted on 03/06/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




My boys dad is moving away but says he wants him once a month the thing is he doesn't look after him properly and dumps in on his mum while he does what he wants, I have said if he wants him he is to get his own place and look after him properly by himself he has said I can't stop him seeing him and will do what he wants when he has him! I don't think this is fair on my little boy at all, do I have any rights to stop this if he is on the birth certificate? I want him to see him but on my terms? Any help would be great as he is clueless and thinks he can do what he wants x


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~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/06/2015




I would definately seek legal advice, especially if it is long distance or out of state. You can certainly speak with your lawyer about your concerns.

What does you sons dad want to do exactly? How does he expect his son to get there? You drive him? Come pick him up? Just curious.

And you are right, it is not fair to your little boy in my opinion, but it is worth him knowing his dad IMO. Hopefully this move helps mature this man.

Michelle - posted on 03/06/2015




In relation to your title question, No, you can't call the shots. That's up to the courts.
You trusted this man enough to have a child with him so now you need to live with that decision.

Jodi - posted on 03/06/2015




What does your court order say?

Basically, no, you don't get to call all the shots and have visitation in exactly the way you want it. Over the next however many years, there will be things that you won't like and you will just have to suck it up. If he wants to live with his mother and stay with her when he has his child, there is nothing you can really do about that. He is right that you can't stop him from seeing his child - if you do he can take you to court, argue parental alienation and possibly get full custody.

But if you don't have a court order, time to set up custody and visitation in court.

Raye - posted on 03/06/2015




The boy's father has every right to see his child and it's not up to you to dictate the terms. If you haven't done so, you need to go to court and get custody set up for you and visitation established for the father so that you both know what is expected of you. Otherwise he could take your son and not give him back at all because there's nothing from the court saying he can't. Isn't that exactly what you're trying to do to him?

You felt this man was good enough to have sex with and produce a baby, so you should not be so hard on him. You both apparently made some mistakes, so try to be a mature, responsible adult about it and let your boy build a relationship with his father.

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