Can I lose custody of my baby over a text message?

Maribel - posted on 05/15/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have been seperated for 2 months and at first he would come evey day to pick him up then the second week he stop showing up for him when he was suppost to i found out that he was talking to someone else just the second week of our seperation that really hurt me. But I still allowed him ton pick up the baby but all the times that he had to pick him up never showed up or call or answer my calls. That really got me angry and I send him one text message saying alot of things about gangs tht i was gonna have my son be on blue at all times I really didnt mean that but I knew it would bothor him can that cause me custody of my baby? I really just send that been angry for leaving my son waiting for more than 5 times I would like some advice

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Daphne - posted on 05/15/2011

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Somebody has to be an adult here, for your son's sake. First of all, why are you talking about gangs? You're a mother now, and if his father is in a gang, maybe it is best for him not to take your son anywhere.

Talk to your state's child support agency and arrange for a court-ordered visitation schedule, child support, etc. I don't know all the ins and outs of that, but if you are concerned about lashing out in anger and losing your son, then you have to not stoop to that level of name calling and threats.The ex could turn that around on you, saying that you are a danger because of your associations and unfit. DO NOT use your son in this game, he will be the only one truly hurt in this situation. All the while your ex has moved on. If he doesn't want to be a father, you can't make him. The state can only enforce the legal and financial obligations that he has.

Move on honey, there are plenty of other men who are willing to be a father to your son and a good man to you, but you need to stop talking about gangs and other foolishness. Bottom line, you have to be the best you there is, for your son. Don't worry about what the ex is or isn't doing. You do your best for your son, don't talk bad about his dad in front of him, be mature about your business. Somebody has to be an adult here, for your son's sake.

Amy - posted on 05/15/2011

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As angry as you are over your ex you shouldn't use your son to as a pawn, it's not fair to your son. As far as what you said if I were the father I would definitely bring it up when I went for custody. When youre in a custody dispute you really have to be careful of everything you say and do and should use the filter "is this in the best interest of my son?", if I were you I would probably get legal council on what impact your actions so far could have on a custody case!

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[deleted account]

Honestly, in custody disputes you have to put a filter on EVERYTHING you say/do/text/write/etc. Seriously. Anything posted on a social networking site is fair game for your ex in custody court. Anything you text - same thing. He may even be able to record any phone conversations (check out this website - it has all phone recording laws by state in the US: http://www.rcfp.org/taping/states.html).

I also second the advce to get a lawyer. Custody cases can be messy battles and it's always best to have someone on your side who really knows what they are doing.

[deleted account]

Talk to a lawyer... and stop texting your ex. If you have angry messages for him.... write them down in a private journal, but do NOT engage in a 'text message war'.

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