can i plz have ur opinion on this

Wana'ao (Kianna) - posted on 08/21/2012 ( 64 moms have responded )

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my oldest daughter taya is now 18 with 3 kids. her father left me to raise all by myself when i was 16 and he has never met her but recently i have been getting calls from him saying his going to get full custody of her and im really scared not just for her but her kids i asked taya if she wanted to go but she said that his a mother fucking cunt and go to hell and that was in her own words so i dont think she will give up and just go with him any time soon. when i messaged him back he said that he wants her not anyone else so ill havt to take her 3 even thought im expecting triplets and also i live in australia and he lives in hawaii and for the past few years when i go to hawaii to see my fam i occasionally see himand my dad said that he has been asking when taya is going to come up there

could i plz have your advice im worried for taya, her kids, myself and her brothers and sisters

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Dottie - posted on 08/22/2012

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Did I read this right? Your 18 year old daughter has three kids? You're expecting triplets? And the only thing you're worried about is her father taking custody of her (which cannot be done anyways, because she's 18, or will be by the time it reaches the courts). Is this Candid Camera or something?
Also, if she has 3 kids, she might want to clean up her language a bit.

Louveda - posted on 08/23/2012

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Dottie...I'm still not so sure this isn't all a big ruse. It's too unbelievable that anyone would seriously be concerned about custody of a "kid" who is an adult & has children of her own. It's hard for me to wrap my head around anyone being that stupid. ( The Dad... not speaking of the poster or her kids)



The number of kids & the kids having kids is a completely separate issue & not mine to judge. However, I do understand where some of the outrage is coming from. The Duggers do have 18+ kids....apples & oranges tho'. Very big difference between having a large family unit & a mom with a sh!tload of kids. Not judging... just sayin'

Megan - posted on 08/23/2012

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Did anyone else notice that in the question she said her daughter was a mother of 3, but then listed 4 children's names most recently? Twin 3 year olds, a 2 year old, and a 1 year old? She also said that her daughter had her twins (oldest children) at 15, but if she is 17 (won't be 18 until sept., right?) She would have would have had them at 14 or 13 (depending on birthdays)...when things don't make sense they usually aren't true; and this ENTIRE story doesn't make sense. Just saying.

Laura - posted on 08/22/2012

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Some of you are talking about how many kids she has and her daughter has!! That's none of your concern! Who cares how many she has! You have no worries about her father taking her! He can't! She choses now! She doesn't like her father so I wouldn't be worried! People who judge others need to look at their own lives first!! God bless and hope everything works out in your favour!!!

Sheila - posted on 08/22/2012

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No, I wouldn't give him her. The kids and her are a package deal. He has a lot of nerve to even make any request. Your daughter needs to stop making babies and take care of what she has. You shouldn't make it easy for her, she needs to do her part

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Wana'ao (Kianna) - posted on 08/23/2012

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she was born in ausralia moved to hawaii when she was around 1 and we moved back to australia about 2 years ago

April - posted on 08/23/2012

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at a certain age it may be different there then here (u.s.) the child has the right to refuse to see a parent. here it is around 15 or so. that being said he cant really do anything about it. Plus she has her own kids thus she is now an adult.

Megan - posted on 08/23/2012

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Then I'm curious as to how she has duel citizenship.....you don't receive duel citizenship for just visiting a place often. She would have to had been born there to receive it. When exactly did you move to Australia? I also type fast, but you either look at your keyboard or the screen, and when you saw a 3 come up (twice) I might add, you change it. None of it makes sense. In the world I live in, when things don't make sense it's usually because they aren't true. Again, that's my opinion. I just see lots of retracting of statements and times that don't add up. Frankly, if this was my "story" I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if people didn't believe me.

A - posted on 08/23/2012

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I'm not going to shut up, it made no sense if you don't give actual ages. But now that you explain it better.When they are that close in age it helps to explain it better if you don't want people to say fake

Wana'ao (Kianna) - posted on 08/23/2012

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look simple mistake and just shut up im not trying to be rude or anything but seriously

A - posted on 08/23/2012

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I smell a fake. If she had her three year old at 15 and is now 17 (almost 18) with a one yr old she had to have had the one yr old at age 16 not much time to have a two year old n between. Plus a typo of 3 instead of 4 is OK once but it was posted twice (when she said she was afraid she'd have to take in the three.)

Wana'ao (Kianna) - posted on 08/23/2012

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megan she does hav 4 kids i accidentally typed 3 youngest is almost 1 second is 2 and the twins r 2 almost 3 say my birthday is in a month or 2 (my birthday was ages ago) i would be 33 even tho i would be 32 (i am 33 just an example) so yea thats y it doesnt make sence to u and also megan im a fast typer and i often do make mistakes nobody perfect far from it really and 4 is next ta 3 so it easy to accidentally press da other and i never read over wat ive typed also none of my kids were born in hawaii nor my grandkids all born right here in australia

and michelle thanks i wish more people were like u :)

Cristina - posted on 08/23/2012

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You should focus your energy on your pregnancy, not on a custody of a 18 year old .Never heard about a situation like this . I think is a joke!!

Michelle - posted on 08/23/2012

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I thought this was a site to help people. Not to criticize others. How is that helpful at all. Just saying.

Michelle - posted on 08/23/2012

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I don't understand why he is so interested in her all of a sudden after all this time. Also, if she is 18, isn't she now considered an adult, like in the US? It sounds like he has some other reason in mind for getting her other than the fact that he should feel horrible for abandoning her through her whole life. And doesn't he care about her children, which would be his grandchildren? Something sounds fishy to me about this deal. If I were you, I would not feel guilty over upsetting anyone, including your father, and continue protecting your children using your maternal instincts like you have all along. She is 18 and can make her own decisions, but I'm sure that she would never leave her children as she was left by him years ago. She has wounds that haven't healed and to see him on his conditions only shows that he has no respect for her, her children, and for that matter probably nobody but himself. As far as your dad goes, who knows what he told him about your life to try and hurt you and make himself out to be better than you. Just go with your gut feelings on this and explain your fears to your daughter without persuading her one way or another and she'll appreciate being talked to as an adult and love the fact that you are so concerned about her and her family. Also, maybe to ease your dad's concerns over not seeing her often, maybe you could send him pictures, videos, and ask her to write her grandpa occasionally. I'm sure in your dads heart he knows how difficult it is for you to visit often, but he's probably getting older and just feeling like maybe he missed out on some things. So, pictures, cards it say I miss you and love you, might make his day. Even drawings made by his great-grandchildren might give him a chuckle. These are all just ideas you might think of trying. I am estranged from my family also, not by distance, but by unresolved issues. Guilt is a horrible weight on one's shoulders and most of the time the person who feels guilty has absolutely nothing to feel bad about. If you are true to yourself and know that you have made your decisions based on what you felt to be necessary to the time, that's all anyone can ask for. If they do not agree, then that's their problem, not yours. You owe nothing to no one but yourself. Be strong, God bless, and good luck.

Ashley - posted on 08/23/2012

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Most courts of law ask children over the age of thirteen who they want to live with. Due to her having children she woods most likely new considered an adult even though she is not 18 yet. If you are providing more than half of her and her childrens support the custody hearings would take months to process and she would be over 18 by then. However, if he wants her children and could prove negligence he could very well file for custody of them... I highly doubt that from what you have said. Good luck

Megan - posted on 08/23/2012

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yeah, it's hard for me to understand some people's motivation to do things like this!

Dottie - posted on 08/23/2012

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I hear you, Megan...and it's sad because these people are actually trying to help this girl and she's probably laughing at all of us!!

Megan - posted on 08/23/2012

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@ Dottie, It doesn't make sense to me. I have 3 kids, and have never accidently typed that I had any other amount. I can typically spot a lie a mile away, and well, this is no different. Red flags went up for me the minute I started reading it, and then I read threw her responses which only raised more doubt. Here in the US, having a baby legally emancipates you if you are under 18, and since Hawaii is part of the US, I'm going to assume that the same applies there. I think the only thing going on here is a girl with far too much time on her hands seeking a little bit of attention ; even if it's for a completely fabricated story. Just my opinion though. There are enough comments that lead me to believe that some people took the bait.

Victoria - posted on 08/23/2012

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Ie she is 18 she is legally an adult and therefore custody is not an issue. He waited to long so now she can do what she wants.

Dottie - posted on 08/23/2012

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When I mentioned that at first she said 3 kids, then later said 4 kids she wrote this:

she does hav 4 kids but i accedently pressed 3 coz i suck at writing

She says she wants advice, not to be judged, but I'm sorry if you're not literate enough to get your point across, how can you ask advice??? Maybe instead of taking MEN to bed each night, you should take a BOOK. There, I said it. Judgement or not.

Nanna Sandy - posted on 08/23/2012

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Your ex is being an ASS. He is trying to intimidate you and terrify you through manipulation and threats. Do not give him any power in your life anymore and do not let other people run your life any longer. Take back your power from all the people who would not show you respect for the good person you are and have been.

Amy - posted on 08/23/2012

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You should have NOTHING to worry about. By the time he gets anything together to try and file for custody she will be 18. If he did manage to get things together before she turns 18, no judge in their right mind would give him custody of her while also making her give up her kids because he doesn't want them. He sounds pretty much like an ass or like your daughter said, " a mother fucking cunt", so as soon as he's told he would have to take her kids as well, he would give up. Next time you talk to him tell him you wish him luck in his attempt to get custody and you'll see him in court. Don't speak to him after that and see what happens. He's probably bluffing anyway, and if not he's just plain stupid. Good luck to you and ALL your children and with your pregnancy.

Christina - posted on 08/23/2012

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Bella, the difference is that they were married and not asking their parents to raise their five kids.

Marni - posted on 08/23/2012

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Plain and simple she is an ADULT, and there is nothing I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING he can do. Not only is she an adult, but a mom, what judge in their right mind and knows the law..lol might I add take her or even consider this?!?! He's delusional it sounds like and just wants to ruffle your feathers, and it seems it worked for a min. But he "Hakuna Matta" No WORRIES HONEY!!!

Caron - posted on 08/23/2012

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At 18 she is old enough to make her own mind up. Her biological father can rant as much as he wants but there is absolutely nothing he can do.

How very noble of him to pop up now she is an adult. Just ignore him he's a waste of space. Blowing hot air, he cannot insist that your daughter go live with him and leave her children with you he's having a laugh. Good luck with everything x

Dottie - posted on 08/23/2012

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Kianna and Laura-I'm one of those who mentioned her kids only because I thought this was a ruse. I've seen hoaxes before where people "make up" unbelievable circumstances which in the end are untrue. Since this is a REAL question, I apologize for the misinterpretation, but I couldn't believe that she was worried that a mother of three was about to be swept away in a custody battle....so sorry!!

J Chris - posted on 08/23/2012

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What is he smoking? I'm a law student andi agree with Jodi but even if he did try the judge would hear both sides but neither side would be important. It's the child' s decision and that's who the judge would make decision by. Children have rights and if she says she don't want to go with him or have anything to do with him then he will walk away empty handed

Bekka - posted on 08/23/2012

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What I find funny is two generations ago, my grandparents were getting married and proceeded to have 5 kids from the age of 16. So why all the judgement? Seeing as how your daughter has dual citizenship and resides in Australia it's laws take precedent. So sit back enjoy your babies, and your grand babies!

Reality - posted on 08/23/2012

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For starters if the dad walked back into her life years later out of the blue threatening to rate custody - that's all you need for court. A "father" cannot do that and any good judge will hear that and throw out the case. Nothing else needs to be said.

Wana'ao (Kianna) - posted on 08/23/2012

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you were all very helpful sorry i couldnt answer earlier i was dropping my bf and his kids back home . the legal age were i live is 18 but im not sure wat it is in hawaii.

kylie yes multiple births do run in the family as im a triplet yay:) and i enjoyed it but taya has a set of twin girls brooklyn and brennae who are almost 3 yes i know she had them when she was 15 and she has 2 boys seth his real name is iosefo but i call him seth he is almost 2 and zieahre he will be 1.

as i mother i was more concerned of taya since she was my first and i had her early as well that also kinda runs in our family :/

all of you would get it if you have been through wat my whole family has been through. all i wanted for my children and grandchildren was to be something and not havt to go through what ive been through but i guess that didnt work out.

and i hav to things to say to those who have been hating on me

dont judge me until uve walked a mile in my shoes and if u judge me on my past ill put there because u dont belong in my future

Ashley - posted on 08/22/2012

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Um, last I checked if shes 18 she is a legal adult and technically noone can get "custody" of her unless she has a medical problem where she needs a guardian. So I dont know what your freaking about. Unless laws are different where you live and she's not considered and adult I dont know what to tell you.

Madelyn - posted on 08/22/2012

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It just seems as though Taya's father would like to know how she grew up...I doubt if he would be granted custody of an 18 year old, considering she now has children of her own.

Is it possible that he wants to get State Funds for her, is he capable of providing for all of them?



I feel that Taya, has said it perfectly...The hick with this man, he had nothing to do with me as a child, I want nothing to do with him now as an Adult. - Can she be emancipated in Australia? I am in the USA, Nebraska...legal age her is 19...sorry, I am not much help.



Just very opinonated...18 years old and three children??? wow, maybe she should learn/ be taught what the cause of this is.

Kenyatta - posted on 08/22/2012

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You daughter is 18 so the choice is hers whether he wants custody or not. She is technically grown so there is no need to worry

Jessica - posted on 08/22/2012

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I would be concerned on what his interest is in her all of the sudden? I do not know the guy but it sounds like he has some type of motive and it sounds like your daughter knows what it is. I doubt a court is going to rip her away from her own children.... I would tell him to go ahead and file and girl you appeal the shit out of that until she is 18.

Laura - posted on 08/22/2012

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Doesn't matter if it is or isn't! If your going to leave a comment then at least leave a positive one! When someone is asking for help, help and if not keep your comments to yourselves!!

Abi - posted on 08/22/2012

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I think you are more worried about being stuck with another 4 kids ( grandchildren ) - i would!! Do you think there is something your ex could offer your daughter that could temp her away from you and your children?? She is free to go with him if she wants to but do you think she could leave her kids??

Kylie - posted on 08/22/2012

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Do multiple births run in the family - either that or Taya was having babies from a VERY young age to fit in 4 before she's 18?

Kristin - posted on 08/22/2012

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ha, hes a dummy, she is almost 18 she can choose who she wants to live with when they turn 16. He hasnt been around, so no judge would even probably look at the case considering she is almost 18

Wana'ao (Kianna) - posted on 08/22/2012

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she does hav 4 kids but i accedently pressed 3 coz i suck at writing and i have 6 kids 4 step kids so technically i dont really hav 10 and i only just found out im pregnant do ya think i wanted more all i asked 4 was advice on wat was happening not to be judged for having a big family i have heard of 18 kids and they were pregnant so dont be judging me

Bahita - posted on 08/22/2012

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de pends on your state but usually at 12 it's the childs choice unless the parent can be proven unfit.

Dottie - posted on 08/22/2012

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I thought you said Taya has 3 kids???? In your last entry you state that she has 4....what's wrong with this story?

Dottie - posted on 08/22/2012

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That's what I said!! Honestly, it sounds so unbelievable!! Ten kids? Her 18 year old has 3? Really? This is 2012, one word comes to mind....CONTRACEPTIVES!!! Or at least...ABSTINENCE. (Once in a while, anyway)

Louveda - posted on 08/22/2012

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For starters at 18 your daughter is a legal adult. It doesn't even make sense to me that you are concerned about someone going for custody of a grown child.

My first instinct is that this is a joke....seriously?

Hayley - posted on 08/22/2012

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He hasn't seen her in 18 years and now he wants custody? Even if that was a possibility he wouldn't stand a chance in hell.

Wana'ao (Kianna) - posted on 08/22/2012

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good advice linda and no he didnt pay any child support so that would be fun to watch

Linda - posted on 08/22/2012

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If she's 18 he has no right to try to come in to her life now. And i know he didn't pay child support right ? Let him take you to court and he will have to pay you all that back child support. That's my advice to you and your daughter. Good Luck

Jodie - posted on 08/22/2012

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wait.. you have 10 kids and expecting 3 more??? wow. But yeah, custody at 17 almost 18 is stupid. At age 16 kids can pretty much decide who they want to live with.

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