can i win full custody of my 5 month old son?

Kali - posted on 03/02/2016 ( 16 moms have responded )

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ok i am going to court for full custody.The father is a dead beat father. He has not education. he has anger and mental issues. i told him when i found out i was pregnant to go get your GED. it will make it easier to get a job. he didnt. he sat around drunk and smoked weed. When my son was born, everything gotten worse. i gotten postpartum. and i had to seek help. the father wasnt helping at all since the child was born. he was never around. so when i came home i broke up with him. why will i be unhappy? Then he started to say he was going to kill himself. he was going to shoot my now husband , father and my son godmother. he came after me with a sword.

my son saw him every saturday from 2-5. but after the threats i stop. He tried to take my son when i was in the clinic. now he trying to say that i kept my son away so he can have a new daddy. it stressful and still trying to go through depression. i just want a spark of hope i can win this or something. even though it is a lot of things he done i am still scared they will grant him joint custody or visitation. i dont want any of that.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/05/2016

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You need to step back.

You and the kid's father may not get along, but that is no reason to withhold his visitation (the CHILD has that right). Since you purposely stopped his visitation without any grounds or court orders to back you up, your son's father CAN say that you are keeping his son away from him. YOU ARE.

At this point, based on that simple fact, he CAN request custody on his own, he CAN request that you not be around during visitations, etc (which you should not be interfering in that in the first place), and he CAN potentially get full physical with you having visitations. You see, you started the process by not allowing him his rightful visits with his son.

WHAT YOU WANT is not important here. WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD is what is important, and what will be considered.

Jodi - posted on 04/06/2016

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Amely, the father abusing the mother is not enough to lose any physical custody of a child unless she can demonstrate he is a danger to the child. Fact.

Dove - posted on 03/02/2016

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Ask your lawyer. If you have texts from him saying that he smokes weed... that will probably be enough to make him have to submit to a drug test, but there is really no definite was to predict what will happen.

Ev - posted on 03/02/2016

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You should have actually gotten court orders for custody, visitation and child support as soon as you could after the birth of your child instead of waiting.

Ev - posted on 03/02/2016

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You also have to understand that the evidence you have to have a lot of the time has to be documented not just the things you say to the judge. You need to have a record of written dates of things done and times they were done and talked about. If he has had threatened you with killing or hurting you, and the others, did you call the police and make a report on it or have him arrested for it? HIs drug use and drinking would have to also have documentation as well of some sort like DUI or being arrested and convicted for having possession of drugs or record of his having abused drugs and gone for therapy over it. Things like his not having an education as minimal as GED will not be a factor in whether he has any custody, visitation or not. Not having a job won't make a difference either in his seeing this child. You do not get the choice in saying if he has access to his child or a relationship or not. You need to go through the system of courts to get it taken care of.

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AmelyBlank - posted on 04/06/2016

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The law says that the judge’s decision must be “in the best interest of the child." But at 1st you need to find a good lawyer, I advise to look for one here http://solicitors.guru/family/ . The judge should give you sole legal and physical custody if the other parent seriously abused you, even if the other parent never hit your child.
If you think you should have custody of your child, you will need to show the judge:
you have a good relationship with your child;
you are able to meet your child’s needs; and
why it would be bad for your child to live with the other parent.

Sarah - posted on 03/02/2016

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I actually just learned this last week at a DCFS hearing. Text messages alone are not considered evidence unless the phone records are provided to back up the origin of the message. There are software applications that can create a text that appears like it came from one phone and was really made by a different phone entirely. So if you have a lawyer, and you want to use the text as evidence he may have to subpoena the phone company. I agree though that it is probably enough to warrant a drug test, you would probably have to take one as well.

Ev - posted on 03/02/2016

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"i was with him. but when i broke up with him i did went to court."
---And what happened in court? Was it for custody, visitation and child support or another matter?

"but if i get threaten and chase down with a sword it doesnt matter because he didnt harm my child. help me understand"
-----It matters but only if you have a police report for having him arrrested for it. But even then that does not mean he can not have access to any children he has.

"does it count that in a text message he told me things. like he smoke weed and has mental issues. he almost kill someone when younger or i have to get records"
----As far as smoking weed in text, it might as Dove said make him have to take a drug test under court orders. As for the mental issues--his word against yours. Documentation would have to be provided to prove he has them. He may just be saying it to scare you or get some reaction.

Dove - posted on 03/02/2016

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If you have a police report from the sword incident... that could potentially help point to his major instability.

Again though... no one can predict what will happen.

My ex admitted in court that he had raped me, but since he had never done anything to the kids... he got immediate, unsupervised visitations w/ our then 8 year old daughters.

Kali - posted on 03/02/2016

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but if i get threaten and chase down with a sword it doesnt matter because he didnt harm my child. help me understand

Kali - posted on 03/02/2016

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does it count that in a text message he told me things. like he smoke weed and has mental issues. he almost kill someone when younger or i have to get records

Dove - posted on 03/02/2016

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Evelyn is right about the education and the job.... That won't stop him from having visitations or even partial custody... only things that prove he is an actual danger to the child... like drug abuse, severe and untreated (minor or being treated is completely different) mental health disorders, violence and threats to the child specifically.

Kali - posted on 03/02/2016

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i been with my man for six years. we broke up and then i got pregnant.. then things happened... yes i have lawyer. and i have the evidences

Dove - posted on 03/02/2016

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Your son is only 5 months old and you are already married to another man?

Have you documented all of his threats and filed police reports? Does he have any official diagnosis about his mental health?

He will almost certainly get visitation, but if you have enough solid evidence that he is a threat... hopefully the visitations will be supervised. There is no way anyone can reasonably predict what, if any, custody he will be granted.

Keep documenting everything and get a good lawyer. Good luck!

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