Can my ex keep our child?

Patricia - posted on 06/10/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




Can my ex husband not give my daughter back after visitation? We live in different states and have Joint custody but she has physically lived with me for a year. The divorce papers say he gets one month out of the summer and every other christmas visitation for him. I am allowing him to keep her longer so she gets more time with him- almost two monthes out of the summer. She gets out of school late- on the 22nd of june and he thinks I am lying and screwing him out of more time. I ended up paying for the plane ticket for her to go see him, though it says that he must notify me two weeks in writing, and he harrassed me because he could not afford it- I am the idiot who was just done and walked out with pretty much nothing- he has cars, house, big screen TV, etc-in reality I got the better deal I got our girl. He states to me that if next year I do this and dont give him his time he is going to get JAG involved (hes military). I am giving him MORE time than the court papers say! Now I am scared he wont put her on the plane and give her back to me- I know I have to give him his time but I am willing to just eat the cost of the flight and make him come up with the money-(I lowered child support for him too). I have been so nice and accomadating and dont want to make waves to make it better for my child. Can he keep her? Do I file seperate papers in my state? Does anyone know how? Sorry for the rambling just perturbed at the moment- the idiot picked a fight with me before I even put her on a plane to go and see him!


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Dove - posted on 06/10/2012




If he is court ordered to pay for airfare... I'd eat the cost of the ticket at this point. It would suck for your daughter to not get to see him, but with his attitude I would not be trusting him even though he would be 100% in the wrong to keep her.

I fully understand you not wanting to 'make waves' and that is definitely the mature way to be thinking since this IS about your daughter, but that only works if the other party is willing to at least pretend to be a decent human being. I'd be following the court order to the letter on everything. No more, no less than what it lays out.

Patricia - posted on 06/10/2012




I bought a round trip ticket so I know she has a return flight however I am thinking I am going to book a flight out there and get her myself- maybe the same return flight she already has. Wow battleing for 3 years is scary! I dont know if I can trust him or not?

Sally - posted on 06/10/2012




I don't want to scare you but the others are right make sure he has a return ticket. also follow your gut feeling,do you trust him. my friends child want to dads and was not returned and even though he had broken the order,it took her 3 years through the court to have her returned. you know your ex. Do you believe he would do this. x

Louise - posted on 06/10/2012




I thinks Jodi is right. The fact that you have gone to court and he has his visitation in wrigting is a legal contract between you both. He has to return her or he will end up in court. As Jodi said ask to see a copy of the return flight paperwork. As for paying for him to see her, I dont think so. It is up to him to provide a ticket for her to fly, not you. I would not drop his maintenance payments either. She is with you 90% of the time and she needs that money. Dont be so soft on him. He has moved away from his daughter, he has choosen to be where he is, he agreed to the court visitation. It is up to him to finance the trips and him to get her home safely to you.

Stand firm when he starts to fight with you, the law is on your side!

Jodi - posted on 06/10/2012




No, if the court papers specify his time with your daughter, he cannot refuse to return her. He would be in contempt and may well lose ANY access if he does something that stupid. However, if I were you, I wouldn't put her on the plane unless he can provide proof of a purchased return ticket. Does you court order say anything about that?

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