Can my ex, who I have a restraining order against, be present during childbirth?

Amanda - posted on 02/23/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am in kind of a tough situation with my ex "Dave". My parents, and all of my friends and family think that Dave is such a looser and always say how I can do so much better, even though they have never met him. They have no idea how much I love him. A while back there was an incident (he didn't physically harm me in any way) that caused me to go and file a police report, and then get a restraining order against him. Now I am realizing that I was very pressured into getting the order, by friends and family. I think I also somewhat did it out of anger towards D at the time for what happened. Now I wish that I hadn't filed the restraining order because I don't feel that he is a threat to me. He has never done anything like that in the past. I think I did it to please my friends and family, and none of them know that I have been seeing him since the order was placed. I am having his son in just a few weeks, and he really wants to be there for the birth of his son, and I want him to be! Like I said earlier, everyone seems to think he is a big jerk and such a loser, they don't know how much I really care about him, and if they actually took the effort to get to know him, they would see the kind of guy he is. I have thought about going down and cancelling the order, but I know that by doing that if I ever need to get another order, I won't be taken as seriously. Also, I know that my friends and family would be very upset and hurt if I were to cancel it. I had thought about just not telling anyone if I were to get it cancelled, but it would cause a lot of drama and hurt if he was in the delivery room, and everyone thought that I had an order against him, and they found out I had it cancelled. So my problem is, I really want him present during the childbirth. I really do love him, he loves me, and I think he would be a good birthing partner, and know that he is not a threat to me in any way. I just really don't want to hurt my friends and family though, and I could see where they would feel disrespected if I were to cancel it. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, so I don't have a ton of time. Also I am still living at home for the time being, if that makes a difference. I coul really use advice!


Dove - posted on 02/23/2013




You've violated the restraining order by contacting him, so whether or not you 'cancel' it really doesn't matter... it's useless now.

Your life, your baby, your business.... I do have to say that the police/court system does not just hand out restraining orders for the fun of it, so either you lied to get it... or there was a very good, legitimate reason it was granted.....

I hope you aren't going to put your baby's life in danger because of your love for this man.


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Cherish - posted on 02/23/2013




You need to do what is best for you and your baby.
I understand you do not want to hurt your friends and families feelings,but in the end what you do is really your decision.
You family and friends need to be respectful of your feelings and the decisions you make.
Being pregnant and emotional does NOT help any decision making process.
As far as him having a restraining order,nobody would know he was there at the birth unless someone called the police and told them.

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